Gordon's Blog

My Blog Has Moved!!!!

2011-05-19T10:19:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! My blog has now moved over to my brand new website, which you can find here:

http://www.alexandergordonsmith.com/blog

This will be my last post on this blog, so be sure to follow me over!

Thanks for reading!

Haunted Hotels and Clown Slugs!

2011-04-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

My worst fear: a slug dressed like a clown!!

Check out my post about scary things over on Trapped By Monsters!

Shiny New Things!

2011-04-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a great weekend! I had a pretty cool one! On Friday I met up with the brilliant Sarwat Chadda, author of Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess. We had a burger and a good old natter about writing. I love the fact that Facebook and blogs and Twitter et al let you communicate with other writers twenty-four hours a day, but nothing beats meeting up face to face the old fashioned way! Sarwat's new series, the Ash Mistry Chronicles, comes out next year and it sounds AWESOME!!! It's going to be huge.

Now that the tour is out of the way I'm throwing myself into a few new projects, and this weekend I started writing not one but two new books. The first is something I haven't tried before, and I don't really want to say anything about it yet because the chances are it won't work! The other one is a book for younger readers that I'm writing alongside Lynsey and Lucy. It's going really well so far, and we should hopefully have the first book finished in a couple of weeks. I'll tell you more about it soon!

The weekend was also spent doing Fear Driven Films things as we're planning a new film project which should be quite interesting. We've got a title, Sola Gratia, and a script, and we've even begun casting for it. I'll fill in more details as they emerge! Anyway, lots of shiny new things!

Have a lovely week!

Fabulous (But Not Quite Fabulous Enough...)

2011-03-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

I didn't win the award, but I got a slice of this awesome cake,
so really I'm the winner!!!!

This week I was honoured to be able to attend the wonderful Wandsworth Fabulous Book Award ceremony for the second year in a row! Last year Furnace Lockdown was shortlisted, and came second (after Rachel Ward's Numbers), and this year it was Death Sentence's chance to vie for the coveted award.

It was an absolutely wonderful morning, with pupils from seven local schools taking part – including Ashcroft Academy, my second home in London. Each school did a presentation on their favourite book (or books) from the shortlist, and the highlight of my morning was when the awesome pupils from Graveney did their presentation on Death Sentence. They even acted out the scene where Alex, Zee and Simon make it to the control room and face off with a Blacksuit. It was brilliant! They also held a Furnace quiz, and I won a Mars Bar for getting an answer right (although I kind of felt like I was cheating, since I wrote the books...)!

Some awesome comments about Death Sentence!

After the presentations and some discussion groups the winner was announced. And it wasn't me!! I wasn't even in the top three this year!!! But I managed to ignore my urge to grab the award and run away and settled for a lovely bottle of bubbly and a piece of the awesome Fab Award cake. The winner was Alyxandra Harvey for My Love Lies Bleeding, which is a vampire book. I guess you really can't compete with lovelorn vampires! But she lives in America, and although they are sending her the award I doubt she'll get a bit of cake, so who's the real winner? Me!

Anyway, congratulations Alyxandra, and thanks to Susan and everybody at the award for a wonderful day! Maybe I'll be back next year, and you never know – one of these days I might be the bride instead of the bridesmaid!!

Furnace Epilogue!

2011-03-25T05:15:00.000-07:00

This is a message to everybody who has finished reading Furnace 5 – everybody else, look away!!!

Okay, the epilogue that is promised at the end of Furnace 5 has been written, but it hasn't quite made it online yet. This is one hundred per cent my fault, and I offer a million apologies to those of you who are waiting to find out what happens after the end of the story! The epilogue is now with my publisher, and it should hopefully be available to read sometime next week. I'll keep you posted on how it goes, and let you know as soon as it's online!

I'm really sorry about that!! It's worth the wait!!

Aberdeeeeeeeeenshire!

2011-03-24T03:22:00.000-07:00

My Aberdeenshire B&B... Not!

I'm just back from a whirlwind tour in Scotland to celebrate the launch of Furnace 5 this month. I had a fantastic time! I was back in Aberdeenshire, where I was last year for the Grampian Book Awards. It's absolutely gorgeous up there, with the countryside and the coast and the hills (we don't have hills where I'm from so it's always nice to see them)! A trip up north always feels more like a holiday than a tour!

I didn't get to relax, though, far from it! I did twenty-two shows during the week across Inverurie, Fraserburgh, Ellon, Newburgh, Turriff and Meldrum, speaking to well over a thousand people. I also did a few creative writing sessions for teachers and probationary teachers, which was great fun! By the end of the week I was exhausted but exhilarated, and I'd just like to say a HUGE thanks to everybody in Aberdeenshire – especially the pupils, the teachers, the librarians and Marion, who organised it all for me – for being so friendly and so welcoming and so enthusiastic about reading and writing. Aberdeenshire is fast becoming my second home, and I'm looking forward to coming back next year!

I was really looking forward to staying on in Aberdeen afterwards to spend some time with my Uncle Frank and cousin Allie, but on the Friday I was feeling really, really ill so decided to head straight home (ten hours of puking on the train, fun!). I had to save my strength because on Tuesday I was straight back into the fray with another return trip, this time to the wonderful Ashcroft Academy in Wandsworth. I was there last year for the Fab Book Awards, and it was great to see everybody again and speak to this year's Year 8s. Hi everyone, and thanks for making me feel so welcome again! I'm back in London for the Fab Book Awards next week – Death Sentence has been shortlisted. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

Until then, though, it's nice to be back at home for a few days, putting my feet up, writing and trying not to get too addicted to Sims 3... :-)

Poniżej niebios rozpościera się piekło, a na dnie piekieł czeka Otchłań!

2011-03-23T02:55:00.000-07:00

I am MASSIVELY EXCITED because today is the launch day for Furnace Lockdown in Poland!!! I've been away on tour (which I'll be blogging about soon), and I got back from London today to find a big box of Polish books waiting for me! They look absolutely AWESOME!!!

I've had a few foreign rights deals for my books, but this is the first one that I've seen. It's utterly surreal seeing your book in a different language – a story that you wrote, but which you can't actually read. I've tried going through it, but I can barely understand a word! I remember when I was a kid my mum and dad used to have a picture book in Polish, it was about penguins, and I used to look through it marvelling at how their words looked so different to ours. I've been doing the same today. It really is a beautiful language. I've got some Polish friends so I'll give a copy to them and see what they think.

I just want to say a huge dziękuję (I really hope I've got that right!!!) to everybody at Otwarte for doing such an amazing job on the book. It really does look absolutely sensational and I'm so delighted with it! And hopefully I'll be over in Poland soon doing some signings!

Awesome!!!

A Polish Wheezer (and a Great Review!)

2011-02-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

As my Facebook friends will know from my constant whining, I've been horribly ill for the last couple of weeks. What started with the flu fast became an evil attack of tonsillitis, and to top it all off I managed to put my back out too – which meant that I couldn't talk or walk for a few days. I'm still feeling groggier than a drunken, one-legged pirate trying to walk from bow to stern in a storm, but I think I'm slowly on the mend.

Two pieces of good news helped cheer me up this week, though. The first is that I saw a visual for the cover of the Polish Furnace, which I've posted above. Isn't it awesome?! I was absolutely blown away when I saw it. For those of us who don't speak Polish, Otchlan means 'Abyss' and Potrzasku (according to Google Translate) means 'Trapped'. I'm so excited to see the finished book – I'll let you know as soon as I hear a release date!

The second piece of good news is that I saw the first review of Execution (the fifth and final Furnace book, which comes out in a couple of weeks). And it's a great one! A HUGE thanks to John Lloyd and The Bookbag for this review, and all the other Furnace reviews over the last couple of years! :-)

Oh, and there are spoilers here for anyone who hasn't read Death Sentence and Fugitives!

"And so to the end. Alex and his closest friends have escaped the Furnace Penitentiary, that mile-deep hell-hole cum nightmare scientific experiment writ large. He's arisen to find the country in tatters, as the nasty creatures born there are in charge and decimating the population. There is only one thing to do - kill the man responsible. And Alex, eight feet tall, with an obsidian blade for an arm and muscles upon his muscles, will still face his hardest battle yet.

The title is most apt, for even though the prison called Furnace is but a jagged memory, the man Furnace has to be sought, even beyond all his mind-controlled monsters. And the Execution part? That has greater bearing on the story than you might think.

Unfortunately for me, I wasn't keen on the first third of this book. Alex wakes from his latest battle in hospital. He's again penned inside an institution, for the sake of the 'goodies', we at first think. But in his half-awake, half-asleep, half-alive, half-dead state, every second chapter slips away into a fantasy realm, a flashback-cum-dream-cum-exposition. Yes it's all completely relevant, and suitably dark and horrific, but for me the series is better in dealing with the more concrete - the body horror, the battles, the most perfectly tangible senses of dread, nightmare and threat. Yes, those emotions do come solid in writing this good.

Beyond that extended, divisive opening, things definitely return to form. The action, the black mood, the carnage, all continue, and the writing conveys it all brilliantly. It's actually quite a rich, literary style. Monsters bask in darkness in subterranean lairs. There are lots of quality turns of phrase here, to show Smith's consummate skills expertly, should you wish to see beyond the kinetic, page-turning qualities and witness them.

And the approach to the whole cycle is one of merit too. It is one that can bear the burden of being loaded down with copious references and genres, and still come out the far end its own creature. A few, to whet your appetite - the crime thriller, the mid-apocalyptic war movie, the mad scientist genre, the Nazi allegory, the Fall of Man - it's an odd mixture, but the conviction with which it appears on the page makes everything gel.

And so I'm left with the end of it all here (or, actually, elsewhere - read the last page for further details). While I didn't find perfection in any one volume, and didn't enjoy the beginning here, I did successfully admire it all, and what Smith has achieved - combined, a solid week's worth or more of the most literally visceral teen reads I can think of."

Awesome! Thanks again, John!

Beware The Fury...

2011-02-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! I've spent the last month working solidly on the book I started in November, and have finally got it finished! It's pretty epic, at 150,000 words, but it's a hell of a story. It still doesn't have an official title, but it's looking more and more like it might be called THE FURY. This may change, though! I signed the contracts for it last week, so I can officially give you a teaser of what the book is about:

Imagine if one day, out of the blue, the entire human race turns against you.

Every single person you meet becomes a bloodthirsty feral, hell-bent on killing you – and only you.

Friends, lovers, even your mum and dad, brothers and sisters – they will turn on you, and they will murder you.

And when they have, they will go back to their lives as if nothing has happened.

The world has the Fury.

It won't rest until you're dead.

There's a lot more to the story than this, but I don't want to give too much away just yet! There's also a snippet of press blurb:

The Fury is a brutal, gore-packed, relentless roller-coaster ride of excitement, mystery and supernatural terror. A zombie book without zombies, it turns the rules of the horror genre upside down, providing a fresh take on the apocalypse story.

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you all know what was coming after Furnace! I'll post some more information soon!

Trapped By Monsters!

2011-01-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

Check out my post about writing to music over on Trapped By Monsters!

Happy New Year!!

2011-01-02T07:19:00.000-08:00

Happy 2011 everybody! I hope it's a fantastic year for all of you, and that you get everything you could ever desire!

I was planning to blog a roundup of 2010, but the year just went so bloody quickly that I never got the chance. Suffice to say it was an excellent year with some great writing, a new book, wonderful times with friends and family and the beginnings of some very exciting new projects. But out with the old and in with the new, as they say, and my sights are now firmly on the year ahead!

So what are my plans for 2011? Well, one thing that didn't go so well last year was my attempt to write eight books... I wrote two. And a half. Yes, it was a little ambitious and maybe I shouldn't have been quite so tipsy when I announced it. So this year I'm not going to rush to try and finish a certain number of books. Instead I'm going to divide the year up into projects. Twelve of them.

I'm not sure what they all are yet, but I've already begun work on a few. The first is my new YA horror novel, which is so new that it doesn't even have a title yet. The second is probably the screenplay I'm working on for The Inventors. An Inventors film would be SO AMAZING and because there hasn't been much interest I thought I'd just have a go at it myself. There's also a short horror film I'd like to make, and of course the feature film Stagnant, which will hopefully finally begin shooting this year. There are a couple of much smaller projects that I'd like to work on as well, which I'll tell you about if they ever happen! In all, these twelve projects will probably involve more work than the whole eight-books-one-year debacle, but planning it this way makes it seem like less hard work.

Another thing I'll be doing more of this year is blogging! I've got a US blog tour starting on the 5th January and lasting all month, and I'll be sure to link to all my posts from here. It's going to be ace!

Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas break, and here's to a brilliant 2011!

The 12 DEATHS of Christmas!!!

2010-12-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas is almost upon us – just 19 days to go until the jolly old fat bloke squeezes down our chimneys and deposits sweet little droppings beneath the tree. I can't wait! It's my favourite time of year! I've already got a Christmas tree (actually I got two this year, one for the front of the house and one for the back) and everywhere you go there are sparkling lights, cosy greetings and merry music.

Well, almost everywhere you go... Because this year, to celebrate Christmas, the Chainsaw Gang (the group of bloodthirsty YA horror writers to which I proudly belong) have decided to shun colourful baubles and fluffy red stockings and celebrate with our very own version of The 12 Days of Christmas. Rest assured there are no pipers piping, maids a milking or turtle doves in this version (not unless you count the pie that Sarwat cooked for us all to eat whilst we were writing it), just plenty of... You'll have to wait and see!

Starting today, and running for the next 12 days (duh!) we'll reveal our masterpiece on some of our favourite blogs, along with our answers to a whole bunch of questions the bloggers posed to us (if you want to know which of us has really seen a ghost then check it out)! The schedule, and first line, can be found on the wonderful My Favourite Books blog, along with instructions for the next stop!

Enjoy, and have a very bloody Christmas!!

Solitary is Here!!!

2010-11-17T05:48:00.000-08:00

There was a package waiting for me outside my door this morning, and when I opened it I found myself face to face with just about the best looking book I've ever seen in my life!! The hardback US version of Furnace 2: Solitary, is absolutely stunning, and I'm so thrilled to finally see it. It's only six weeks now until it's released in the States, but I wanted to give you a sneak preview of what it looked like!

I've also had another couple of reviews in for Solitary, which I've pasted below. Right, I'm off to sit and drool over the book for a few more hours!

Thanks to everyone at FSG for making this so AWESOME!!!

The first review if from the School Library Journal:
Alex Sawyer, 14, is in prison for a murder he didn’t commit. He tried to escape the horrors of the underground prison known as Furnace in Lockdown (Farrar, 2009), and now he must battle the nightmare that is solitary confinement. The cells open from the top through a sort of manhole cover, and they are more like coffins standing on end than cells. Alex must fight the monsters and mutants that are his captors and tormentors, including the dreaded wheezers that have gas masks sewn to what should be their faces and the vicious rat and doglike creatures that spoiled their escape attempt. Alex’s friend Donavan was thought to be dead, but as it turns out is part of the horrors going on in the infirmary. There are several disturbing episodes when Alex is alone with his thoughts in his cell, and his fatalism or depression leads him to contemplate suicide. The rest of this story is fast paced and packed with nail-biting scenarios, and the gross-out factor is high in many sections. Alex is coaxed into a leadership role by some of the creatures and his friend Zee, who occupies an adjoining cell, and through their attempt at another escape, discovers what is really happening to inmates in the infirmary. This is a dark story with a dark ending, but the gritty action and compelling characters will have reluctant readers enthralled.
Jake Pettit, Thompson Valley High School, Loveland, CO

And the second is from Booklist:

In a sequel to Lockdown (2009) that is just as breathlessly paced and soaked with blood, mucus, and less savory substances, teen jailbird Alex’s escape from the futuristic underground prison and experimental lab called Furnace leads first to recapture and then to a second flight that involves frantic chases through dark caverns and tunnels, face-to-face encounters with flesh chewing human-rat hybrids, and visits to a gruesome “Infirmary,” in which prisoners are modified into hideous monsters. Readers who relish lurid imagery and melodramatic prose will continue to be riveted and left eager for the next disgust-o-rama episode.

John Peters

"Disgust-o-rama" I love it!

I've been Chainsawed!!

2010-10-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

Brilliant Changeling author Steve Feasey has reviewed my books and given me the infamous Chainsaw Gang interrogation over on his blog! Check it out!

Steve Feasey's Blog!

Thanks Steve!

Solitary Reviews!

2010-10-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

Two great reviews for Solitary have just come in. The first is from the Voice of Youth Advocates:

Alex Sawyer has been sent to Furnace Penitentiary, a place where teenagers are sent to disappear. Alex and his friends have seen many horrors—the wheezers with their black suits and gas masks, the monstrous dogs that chase them through the corridors of Furnace, and the infirmary where the inmates are turned into creatures that are far from human. Alex wants out, and in a bad way. He and his compatriots have managed to blast their way even deeper into the confines of Furnace, but a way out still eludes them. Alex and Zee have now been sent to solitary, a place where most prisoners lose their minds. In the small confines of his cell, Alex begins to hallucinate, seeing the ghostly image of his friend Donovan who was captured by the warden. Donavan tells Alex to snap out of it, and thankfully he does, recapturing what little sanity he has left to formulate a plan. Will the plan work? There’s no way of knowing, since everything in Furnace has a way of going horribly wrong.

Once again, Smith has created a thrill ride that will leave the audience wanting more. Smith’s prose is fast paced, witty, and sometimes downright terrifying. Some of the images he creates could manifest into a nightmare or two. Teens who are looking for a great thriller/horror story will definitely want to pick up these novels. Look for the third installment in this series to debut in June of 2011.—Jonatha Bayse.

And the next, slightly less positive review, is from Kirkus:

After being swept away in an underground river moments after escaping from Furnace Penitentiary, Alex is quickly recaptured by the cruel blacksuit guards and placed in an isolation cell. Though confined, he clings to hope through tapped communiqués with his fellow failed escapee Zee, hallucinatory appearances from his friend Donovan and strange visits from a mysterious creature named Simon. Adrenaline-fueled action infuses the narrative as it did in Lockdown(2009), keeping the pages turning. Alex's forays into self-reflection are less convincing; in Smith's effort to create an antihero, he has given Alex too many flaws to generate much sympathy. Donovan's dialogue is an especially transparent device to create emotional growth. The twisted monsters that patrol the prison are still satisfyingly brutal, however, even though readers now know to expect them lurking around dark corners. While the revelations and ending are not surprising, the author knows what keeps his readers locked to the page and delivers it soundly. (Thriller. YA)

Donovan's dialogue wasn't an attempt to create emotional growth at all, it was Alex's (subconscious) way of staying sane and staying alive, but never mind!

Awesome reviews, though, thanks everyone!

THE CHAINSAW GANG TOUR! STOP TWO...

2010-10-12T01:54:00.000-07:00

It gives me great pleasure today to host the second stop in our gore-soaked Chainsaw Gang tour!

For those of you who don't yet know, the Chainsaw Gang is made up of the most twisted and talented horror and dark fantasy authors writing for young people today. If you like adventure, action and most of all horror then you're right at home here – demons, zombies, ass-kicking Knights Templar, monsters, dragons, gunfights, sword fights, explosions, quests to hell and back, werewolves, armageddon, yetis, witches... The list of cool stuff is endless!

Remember to check the bottom of this post for a chance to win the Chainsaw Library!

During the tour each Chainsaw Gang author will introduce and interview another member of the club, and I'm absolutely thrilled that I get to give you one of the best YA horror writers ever to dip his quill into a pot of blood and guts, a writer so well versed in horror that he may as well have invented the genre. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to DAVID GATWARD!

I've just finished reading Dave's debut YA horror novel, The Dead, and my ears still feel like they're ringing. Why? Because this is just about as good as horror novels get. Let me start with a quote:

"The ﬁgure’s body was bathed in ﬁrelight, the rocking chair horribly still. Its head was bald, the skin ripped away in strips and in places Lazarus, horriﬁed and scared beyond anything he’d ever experienced in his life before, could see the milky glow of bone. Its ears were gone, nothing more than stumps that looked like melted candles. The face was a mass of tears and cuts, slicing across it this way and that, the nose severed in half. The mouth had no lips; just great, bloody wounds where they looked like they had been torn oﬀ. Its teeth reﬂected the ﬁre."

How awesome is that?! The figure in the quote is Red, and one night he tells Lazarus Stone – the brilliantly named teenage hero of the novel – that the thin veils between the land of the living and the land of the dead are failing. And what happens when they fail? The Dead can cross over... Without wanting to give too much away – the plot is full of twists and turns that you'll want to experience for yourself – Lazarus discovers a terrifying secret about his own father, and finds himself on a quest that will literally take him to hell and back!

There are so many reasons why I love this book, and one of the main ones is that David Gatward is so obviously a horror junkie. There are references in the book to some of my favourite movies (if you're a horror fan too see if you can spot them) and it's clear that he really, really loves the genre. What this means for the writing is that this isn't just an all-out mindless gore-fest (although it is very bloody and gory, don't get me wrong) but a beautifully crafted tale that can stand proudly amongst the stories and movies that inspired it. There is nothing about The Dead that feels like it's copying what's gone before, it really is uniquely unnerving and thrilling.

So, in short, if you want a book you can't put down, if you like to be scared and excited at the same time, then read The Dead! Or click here to read Chapter 3 and see for yourself. And the good news is that there are two sequels to follow, the first of which, The Dark, is already out (and trust me, at the end of this book you will need to go straight out and get this)!

And now, so you know more about the man behind The Dead, here are his answers to the critical Chainsaw questions...

1. What's your favourite book?

I can't say I've ever come across a book that's my all out favourite. Why? Because I fall for so many different books for so many different reasons. Biggest influence might be Weirdstone of Brisingamen, by Alan Garner. It was the first book I didn't just read, but experienced. I was 11. It made me want to write stuff that would make people feel the same way I did when I read it. Particularly the bit in the cave, where they're being chased by the svarts and the cave gets narrower, they can hardly move... then they come up against water and they've no choice but to go through. Unreal! And terrifying! I loved Lord of the Rings. I was really in to the Dragon Lance Chronicles. I think Bravo Two Zero is tremendous. If I want to be somewhere hot and lovely and delicious I'll read Under a Tuscan Sun. Then, if I want to go dark and feel like the world's seeping in through the cracks in the walls of my house, I'll grab something by Lovecraft. Joe Hill's 20th Century Ghosts is annoyingly good. Jack Ketchum can confuse and horrify all at once. I've just read Mr Hands by Gary Braunbeck and loved it, the world he's created, his writing, the sentences that go on for not just a few paragraphs but a few pages. Clive Barker's Hellbound Heart, Books of Blood, Damnation Game. Arthur C Clarke's Songs of the Distant Earth. See my problem?

2. Who's your favourite monster?

I love Pinhead! Something about that crazy cat just makes me shiver. It's that at his centre is not simply mindless evil, but humanity twisted and gone wrong, our own primitive drives left to go wild. I love that. I'm all for mindless killing machines, like Jason, but Pinhead does it for me.

3. Who's your favourite bad-ass monster-slayer?

Well, it's not a literary one this, and it's a pretty short-lived moment, but in a film by Peter Jackson, called "Dead Alive" he has a crazy vicar who goes all karate on some icky undead creatures. Just before the fight begins (and despite the fact he gets totalled during it) he yells out, "I kick ass for the Lord!" I love that! Brilliant!

4. If you could make a pact with the Devil, what would you want in exchange for your immortal soul?

Does it have to be one thing? I'm guessing not, because this is my immortal soul we're talking about, right? So, here's a few things to start with:

- A house with a deep, dark wine cellar that would never run dry of the best fermented grape juice known to humanity. And a plentiful supply of candles to place on the little table I'd have down there to sample them at.

- A hotline to serious cheese. Seriously. I love the stuff. And I'd want the best and rarest I could find. Even that maggoty one that's illegal...

- The ability to fly. Surely I don't need to explain why...

- A chainsaw that never runs dry or falls blunt.

- The house off the film Casper the Ghost.

- My own creepy graveyard.

- A ghost called Gerald who enjoys horror movies and lives in the attic.

- A room dedicated to my record deck and my drum kit.

- A climbing wall.

- If you've read my book, the vehicle driven by Arielle.

I'll stop, but trust me, that list could go on!

5. The Chainsaw Gang are all trapped on a desert island with no food. Who would you eat first and why?

Well, of all the Chainsaw Gang, I've only met Sarwat in person, so I think it would only be polite to at least consume him as a starter to the main course. Like the rest, though, I'd have to tenderise him first, so I'd have to dig a big pit and thrown them all in to it. With no way to escape, they'd go crazy, beat each other up to get out, and that'd get them all nice and soft and juicy. Then, when they were exhausted, bleeding in to the sand beneath them, I'd despatch them as cleanly and humanely as possible, then bury them in the sand to not only continue with the maturing process, but also preserve them. I might also consider distilling some sea water to a brine and seeing what effect that had on the meat. And wouldn't it be great if the desert island had some coconuts on? Boil the meat up in some coconut... yum. Ooh, I'm salivating already.

Thanks Dave, those were awesome answers! Right, I'm off to go baste myself in some tikka spices. But just before I do, here are the rules for the Chainsaw Gang competition – it's free to enter, and it's really worth it because you could win a set of signed books from every single Chainsaw author!!!

Here’s how the competition works:

To win the Chainsaw Library you need to score votes. Each vote goes into a vast hat at the end of the competition and one winning name will come out. The great thing is you can enter per blog: that’s nine chances to win! So make sure you visit each and every blog on the tour.

Votes are scored as follows:

+1 if you link this blog/website to yours

+2 if you stick our Chainsaw banner (found at the top of this blog) up somewhere (and let us know)!

+1 if you’re a Facebook fan/friend.

+1 if you comment on this blog post.

+1 if you reTweet this competition.

+1 if you follow us on Twitter.

The closing date of the competition is Friday 5th November and the competition is open to UK residents only. Good luck!

The Carnage Begins...

2010-10-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

Prepare for bloodshed, screams, spattered brains and the nostril-burning stench of gasoline... The Chainsaw Gang tour has begun! It begins today on the blog of our gang leader Sarwat Chadda, who is interviewing fellow death merchant Sarah Silverwood. Tomorrow I'll be interviewing Lord of the Damned David Gatward, and over the next couple of weeks the rest of the gang will be introducing each other. It's going to be bloody brilliant...

Not only will you get to know some of the best up and coming writers in the genres of horror and dark fantasy, you will also stand a chance of winning signed copies of the latest books by every single Chainsaw author! That's a lot of books.

Here’s how the competition works:

To win the Chainsaw Library you need to score votes. Each vote goes into a vast hat at the end of the competition and one winning name will come out. The great thing is you can enter per blog: that’s nine chances to win! So make sure you visit each and every blog on the tour. Votes are scored as follows:

+1 if you link the blog/website to yours

+2 if you stick our Chainsaw banner up somewhere

+1 if you’re a Facebook fan/friend.

+1 if you comment on the blog.

+1 if you reTweet this competition.

+1 if you follow us on Twitter.

The closing date of the competition is Friday 5th November and the competition is open to UK residents only.

Good luck!

Workshop Part Four!

2010-10-06T06:19:00.000-07:00

Part Four of my horror-writing workshop is now live over on the Trapped By Monsters site!

Have fun!

http://www.trappedbymonsters.com/2010/10/write-your-own-scary-stories-part-four/

Fantastic Review! :-)

2010-10-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

A fantastic review of Lockdown can be found on the awesome Book Zone for Boys site. Thanks Darren!!!

http://bookzone4boys.blogspot.com/2010/09/review-escape-from-furnace-lockdown-by.html

Fugitives

2010-10-04T04:18:00.001-07:00

A great review for Fugitives has just appeared on the Bookbag website. Thanks John! :-)

http://www.thebookbag.co.uk/reviews/index.php?title=Furnace:_Fugitives_by_Alexander_Gordon_Smith

My Riviera Tour!

2010-10-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing time this week during my whirlwind tour of the south coast! Five days, seven cities and 800 kids, awesome! I started off driving to North Swindon Library on Monday where I did a show for two schools followed by a brilliant Headspace horror-writing event in the evening. After that I headed to Calne, then the following morning did another show in the local library there. A quick trip to Trowbridge followed, together with awesome event number four, then without pausing for breath I headed south.

I had a bit of spare time so I popped over to nearby Stonehenge on the way. It was full of tourists to start with, but it was quite late in the day so by the time I'd walked around it there were only a handful of people left and it was easy to imagine that it was just me and the stones. Spooky! It's really well worth a visit to Stonehenge if you get the chance – over 5,000 years of history and some amazing stories. Try and come up with your own mythical explanation for why the stones are there!

An hour or so later and I was in Bournemouth. I've never been before so I left my clifftop hotel and wandered down to the beach in the dusk. It's a gorgeous place, beautiful gardens right next to the beach and even a tethered hot air balloon you can float up in! I grabbed some fish and chips (it's law that when by the sea you have to indulge in fish and chips) then headed back to the hotel. Unfortunately, thanks to my neighbours, it was the worst night's sleep ever! They were arguing until six in the morning, throwing things around the room and at one point the police showed up! Nightmare!

I started again first thing on Wednesday, doing two school events in Kinson Library, both of which were great fun. After a lovely lunch with Denise (my minder!) I returned to the library for another event in the evening – not just any old event but the opening of the library's Headspace area! The Mayor of Bournemouth was there (in some incredible Mayoral bling, I have to say), as well as a huge crowd of teenagers, parents and librarians. I talked for nearly an hour about my love affair with horror, and everybody seemed to enjoy it! It was a great honour helping to open the Headspace area, especially as the people in the steering group had done such an amazing job setting everything up. Well done, and I hope you have loads more cool events there in the future!

On Thursday, after a bacon butty on the beach in glorious sunshine, I drove across to Poole for two more school events, this time in the Hamworthy Library. I even managed to get another quick trip to the beach in between them, this time glimpsing Poole Harbour. It is beautiful around there! I wanted to drive to Sandbanks and eye up a future mansion for myself, but in the end I drove to Corfe Castle and had a nosey around there. Even though it's a ruin it's an amazing place to visit, full of history. After that I bolted down to Swanage for an evening event with a fantastic group of readers and writers.

I drove across to Chichester that night, doing my best not to fall asleep in the car... After a night in a Premier Inn (always really comfy) I headed to Kingsham Primary School where I met up with the incredibly enthusiastic Colin and his boy's reading group. They were recording a podcast and asked me some brilliant questions. If it goes online I'll let you know where to find it. They even changed the tone of my voice to make me sound like a demon (and a chipmunk, although the demon sounded better)! Awesome! I did a talk to the year 6's, then to the year 5's (and some girls from the nearby girl's school), and all in all had a fantastic time! After lunch (a MacDonald's...) I zoomed over to the Chichester High School for Girls and did a show for about a billion year 7's, which was a brilliant way to finish off the tour!

I just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who helped organise the tour, and who came to listen to me speak. I had a fantastic time! :-)

See you all again soon!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines...

2010-09-16T05:44:00.000-07:00

Like most horror writers, I love chainsaws. Nothing quite sums up the concept of a relentless, inescapable, gut-wrenchingly terrifying threat as a man charging after you with a roaring engine of death gripped between his fingers. I can't really imagine a more agonising way to die, either... As far as horror icons go, chainsaws are up there with the best of them.

Which is why it gives me immense pleasure to announce that I am officially a member of what is probably the coolest club in existence – the Chainsaw Gang. The Brainchild of author Sarwat Chadda, this exclusive, blood-splattered, chainsaw wielding, nightmare inducing gang of goremasters includes some of the best new wave YA horror writers around today. You won't find sparkly vampires or cuddly werewolves here. No, they've all been chopped up and eaten by the real monsters, the genuinely scary ones. Because that's why the Chainsaw Gang is here – to rescue you from the PG rated horror of recent years and give you some old school frights that will truly inspire nightmares!

Let me introduce you to the rest of the gang:

First there's our founder and grand master, Sarwat Chadda, author of the amazingly awesome Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess. Devil's Kiss was one of my favourite books from last year, genuinely unputdownable, and trust me when I say there are scenes in there which will keep you awake for nights on end. Chainsaw of choice is the MS 880 STIHL Magnum, the beast of chainsaws.

Next in line is Steve Feasey, author of the Changeling books and wrangler of some of the nastiest werewolves you'll ever meet, not to mention djinns, demons, vampires and sorcerers. You want fear? You want adventure? Then he's your man. Chainsaw of choice probably a Efco MT4100S, good for instant decapitation.

Following Steve through the exhaust fumes is none other than Sam Enthoven, one of my all time favourite authors. The Black Tattoo was incredible, TIM Defender of the Earth was astonishing, but Crawlers is his best yet – a book so utterly horrifying that you'll never want to leave the house again, especially on a school trip... Don't believe me, just check out the cover! Chainsaw of choice, the CS 536163 Pneumatic, designed to cut through walls, floors and columns in a single pass.

Don't be fooled, boys aren't the only ones who can handle a chainsaw. Take Alex Bell, for example. Author of The Ninth Circle and Jasmyn she delivers real, blood-chilling grown up horror scary enough to send even us running for cover. Chainsaw of choice is a MS 460 R STIHL "Rescue" chainsaw, although if you think she'll be using it to rescue you you're in for a nasty shock.

Next to march down the hallowed Chainsaw Boulevard is the fantastic Alex Milway, author of the Mousehunter books and the brand new Mythical 9th Division. Now Alex wouldn't call himself a horror writer, but with pirates, monsters, killer mice and yetis in his books he's perfectly at home in the gang. Chainsaw of choice is most likely to be a two-person tree saw powered by nothing but elbow grease, but don't let the lack of an engine fool you, it's as deadly as they come.

There's still more to come, with William Hussey emerging from the smoke. Bill is the author of some genuinely creepy adult horror books – which I love – and he's brought his twisted imagination to younger readers with Witchfinder. But if you think these are any less scary, or any less gory, then forget it. You won't know what's hit you. Chainsaw of choice an AirFORCE F4 Diamond Chain – designed to cut though solid rock.

And last but certainly not least is Jon Mayhew, master of the macabre. His new book, Mortlock, is fantastic, but not for the faint hearted! Enter dark, fog-bound Victorian London and the scariest circus since Cirque du Freak, but be sure to leave a light on... Chainsaw of choice, a steam-powered Victorian nightmare of a machine that billows smoke and blood in equal measure.

What about my choice of chainsaw, you ask. Well I'd probably go with a Homelite Zip chainsaw. Rusty, smoky, noisy and old school.

The Chainsaw Gang will be blitzing the UK over the Halloween period. This is our 'beta-testing' phase, so we're going to go nice and easy on you. We'll crank it up later. The website will be up later this month and there'll be additional stuff galore, but I wanted to give you a heads up NOW, so you can get your diaries out and mark these dates in RED.

I will be here:
9th October 11.00, Cheltenham Festival Screenwriting Workshop
13th October, 4.00, Thornton Heath Library, Croydon
14th October, 4.00, Coulsdon Library, Croydon
19th November, 4.00, Worksop Library

Jon Mayhew will be ruling the north.
21st Oct: Crosby Civic Hall: Scarefest
26th: GobbledeBook Festival Chester: Teen Panel AM, Full Event PM
27th: Newport Big Read, Riverfront Theatre Newport
29th: Booka Bookshop Oswestry: A Hallowe'en Party
30th: Lancaster Castle

Steve Feasey will be at the Cheltenham Festival on Oct 10th.

Sarwat Chadda be at GobbledeBook Festival, Chester on Monday 25th, 2.30pm to 4.30pm.

Then, there are the BIG THREE events. True and pure Chainsaw.

Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival on Sat 23rd October with Jon Mayhew, Alex Bell, me, Sam Enthoven, Steve Feasey and Alex Milway and Sarwat Chadda. Honestly, be there or be forever disappointed that you weren't at THE author gathering of the year, so far! This event is ticketed (tickets are free) so BOOK NOW!

Norwich Millenium Library on Friday 29th October, 2.30pm with me, William Hussey, Sam Enthoven and Sarwat Chadda. There's even a poster for this one!

Foyles, Charing Cross Road. Their big Halloween Angels and Demons extravaganza running Saturday and Sunday, 30-31st October. Guess which side we're representing on Saturday? It'll be the experts in all things demonic: William Hussey, Sam Enthoven and Sarwat Chadda. There will be others, prepare to be surprised! Contact the store and book your place now.

So there you have it, the Chainsaw Gang. There will be more events listed throughout the year, so keep your eyes peeled for a show near you.

And beware the sound of chainsaws in the night...

Cover News! (Again!)

2010-09-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

The brand new cover for Death Sentence has just been sent to me, and I love it! Okay it's certainly not as creepy as the original (posted below), but I do agree that it will appeal more to teenage readers, plus it definitely catches the dark, action-packed tone of the novel and it won't give me so many nightmares by being on my shelf!

What is everyone's verdict? Veiny Alex or scary warden?

Also FSG, my publisher in the States, have just sent through this awesome advert showing all the covers together. I like!

Cool Advert!

2010-09-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to Liz at the awesome My Favourite Books for sending me an email this morning pointing out the new advert for Lockdown over on Tor.com. You might have to refresh the page a few times before it comes up, but it's worth it!

http://www.tor.com/blogs/2010/09/visiting-the-wizarding-world-of-harry-potter

(And no, it doesn't have anything to do with Harry Potter!)

Thanks Liz!

New Poster!

2010-09-07T04:23:00.000-07:00

I've just put together a new poster for the Furnace series, what do you think?

It's here!!!!

2010-09-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Awesome news just in!! My author copies of the fourth and penultimate Furnace book have just arrived, and it looks amazing! It's very yellow, but it goes perfectly with the other books in the series. It's not out for another month, but check back here very soon for a chance to get your hands on a copy before anyone else!

Thanks to everyone at Faber for making it look so great! :-D

PS. That mess behind me is because the office sofa and chair have just arrived and I stuffed all the packaging in the corner!

Write Your Own Scary Stories Part Two!

2010-08-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

The second part of my horror writing workshop is now up over on the Trapped By Monsters site!

http://www.trappedbymonsters.com/2010/08/write-your-own-scary-stories-part-two/

Furnace 5!

2010-08-30T04:33:00.000-07:00

I've just had the finished cover copy through for Furnace 5, what do you think?

The whole world has become a prison, and Alfred Furnace is its master.

Monsters rule the streets leaving nothing but murder in their wake. Those who do not die become slaves to Furnace’s reign of cruelty.

I am a monster too. I am the only one who can stop him, but in doing so I might be the one to destroy everything.

Am I the executed or the executioner? Who will die? Me, Furnace or the entire human race?

All I know is that one way or another, it all ends today.

Holiday!!

2010-08-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

I'm still enjoying a bit of a break after finishing Furnace 5. Well, I say a break, but it's actually been a busy couple of weeks catching up on admin (yawn), fan mail (yay), moving into the new office (awesome) and DIY around the house (argh!!!!). I've also been doing a short business foundation course (eek!) which has been really interesting. It's provided by the Norwich and Wensum Enterprise Centre (NWES) for free, and is designed to get people thinking about their finances, especially with limited companies. I figured that as I've got three limited companies, I should probably try and find out what a profit and loss chart is, and what the laws are regarding taxes...

Anyway, the aim of it all is to make sure Inkling is set up properly, especially as we're going for Arts Council funding. I want to make sure the company gets off to as positive a start as possible. And in other Inkling news we've had our first submission, which is awesome! We're taking it away to Centerparcs with us next week so we can start reading it at bedtime.

Other than Inkling stuff and DIY (I finally finished decorating Jamie's room!) I've not been up to much, really. I started work again on a horror novel for adults that I began late last year, and I've been getting into it. However, it's a long-term project and I imagine that after a couple of chapters it will end up back on the shelf while I start the new YA series. Still, it would be cool if something happened with it one day. I've also started learning Japanese again, although as this is the third time I've begun and I've never kept with it before I'm not incredibly optimistic...

Right, I'm off to wrap up a last few bits and pieces before I head home and start packing. We leave for Centerparcs on Monday morning and I can't wait to get in the pool!! Have a great week everyone!!

First Post from the New Office!

2010-08-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm writing to you all now from my lovely new office in the heart of Norwich (which, for those of you who don't already know, is the cultural, financial and political heart of, well, the world)! It's so amazingly cool to have a proper office again – the last one, inside an amazing old shoe factory, is fast becoming an Asda as we speak. This place is great, an old hotel where Laurel and Hardy once stayed. It's full of weird-shaped rooms and strange, narrow corridors that lead all over the place. I'm pretty sure it's haunted too... Cool!

Anyway, that's my office in the photo above. It's partly mine, and partly Inkling Studios', which will be nice as it means I won't be in here by myself all the time. That's one of the best things about having an office that's separate from the home – you get to speak to real people, rather than just the cats! Essentially, though, an office isn't about having a place to go to work, it's about having a place to go home to. When I work at home, my house becomes an office – I end up spending all day working because there's no divide between work space and leisure space. Now I have vowed never to work at home, only in the office (apart from actual writing, that is, which isn't really work at all). Which is great because I can get home and really enjoy being there, rather than thinking I should be working all the time!

Awesome!

Anyway, aside from moving into the new space I've mainly been chilling. I'm still pretty frazzled from writing Furnace 5, so I'm treating myself to a break. We've been going swimming loads, which is great, and we've been to the cinema a few times too. Karate Kid was good fun, made even more so as we could identify some of the moves from our own classes (yes, it's Kung Fu he learns this time, not Karate). Although the martial arts were better in the remake, and this one had the legendary Jackie Chan, I think I still prefer the original...

We saw Inception too, which is amazing. Just one of those films which is immensely satisfying on every level. Really, really worth going to see. The soundtrack is brilliant too, as you would expect from Hans Zimmer – great writing music!

On the writing front, I have pitched the synopsis for my new series, so I should hear back from my agent about it pretty soon. Faber sound keen on the idea, so keep your fingers crossed for me! I'll let you know all about it as soon as I get some news...

Right, off to unpack some more office stuff!

Oh, I nearly forgot the most exciting news: I booked a week in Centerparcs for later this month, yay!!!

Write Your Own Scary Stories!

2010-07-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

Learn how with the first part of my horror-writing workshop, over at Trapped by Monsters!

http://www.trappedbymonsters.com/2010/07/write-your-own-scary-stories/

The Holidays!!

2010-07-25T03:03:00.000-07:00

It seems to have come around so fast, the summer holidays are here again! I love this time of year, though, as it's an excuse to do fun stuff every day. Yesterday we went swimming, which was great. We were going to go and see Toy Story 3 as well but after two and a half hours in the pool we were absolutely cream crackered! We'll probably head off to see that today, and I'm really looking forward to it!

Of course, this is also the time of year when I never seem to have any time for work... What with all the trips out and stuff, as well as a week in Centerparcs at some point. It's good in one sense, as I was planning to take a little time off after finishing Furnace 5. However, I'm itching to get started on the next project. I've just sent my agent a pitch for the new series. I can't say too much about it yet, but it's a trilogy of horror books – very different to Furnace in subject, but similar in the level of violence and gore! The working title is The Hated, but this may change. Anyway, I should know soon whether I've got the deal, so I'll tell you all about it then! I've also pitched two more series ideas, but they are for later on down the line. There's loads on anyway!

In some ways this is my favourite part of being a writer, the ideas stage. It's a chance to just let your imagination go utterly wild and come up with as many book ideas as possible. I used to find it tough finding inspiration, but now I just use the age old "what if..." technique and see new books everywhere! If some of you don't know about the "what if..." technique then swing on over to the Trapped By Monsters site this afternoon for my guide on how to use it to write your own horror stories!

On the Inkling front, I'm taking out a new office next week in the building above. I'm really looking forward to it, for a couple of reasons. The first is that it will give Inkling Studios a really cool base of operations, a wonderful atmosphere in which to start up and hopefully grow. The second is that I'll be able to work down there myself. Sometimes I enjoy writing at home, but it's so nice to be able to go somewhere else to work. It really lets you appreciate your house when you get home at the end of the day! I'll also be starting our Arts Council application this week, which should be fun!

Right, off to book tickets for Toy Story...

The End of an Era!

2010-07-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I put the finishing touches to the fifth and final Furnace book. It was a weird experience, one which came with a bittersweet mix of emotions. On the one hand it was amazing to bring the saga to a close, to see Alex and his friends get to the end of their journey. And it's been a hell of a journey, quite literally in some cases!

It was a huge relief to make it to, and through, the last few chapters, especially as I had no idea, really, about what was going to happen. I said from the start, from the very first word of the very first book, that I wasn't going to plan these stories – I wanted to experience them from exactly the same place as Alex, not knowing what was going on or why. That way his actions and his thoughts would appear more realistic, more genuine. Of course there was always the danger that I'd get to the final book and not know what was happening, or why, and that was a big worry. But the story just seemed to know where it wanted to go, and it went there of its own accord and under its own steam. I just wrote it all down! It really was an amazing feeling being able to wrap up the series in a way that makes sense, and which hopefully leaves everyone satisfied.

But along with the joy of finishing the series comes sadness too – grief, almost. Because it means saying goodbye. I'm not going to say who makes it to the end alive, you'll have to read it yourselves to find out! But even the ones who survive have to say farewell. This is the end of their adventure, and even though in my head they'll be going off to live the rest of their lives I will no longer be part of it. It may seem like a weird thing to think, but I'm not lying when I say that I'm closer to Alex and Zee and Simon and Donovan than I am pretty much any of my actual friends! For the last three years we've been through so much together, and for the last six weeks especially it's been an incredibly close bond made even more intense by the fact that we all knew this was our final journey together. Writing those last few pages was so good because it was the end, but it was so sad too because it really did feel like I was losing my friends.

It was pretty much exactly three years ago, in July 2007, that I started writing the first Furnace book, Lockdown. It feels like a lifetime! Three years, 375,000 words, and a story that is far from perfect but which I'm pretty proud of. I don't really want to let it go. I'll drop in on Alex and the others every now and again. They live in that weird place in a writer's brain, a home for old characters. They'll be there with Nate and Cat and Clint from The Inventors, so they'll be in good company! And you never know what might happen in the future...

But for now, I just want to say a huge thank you to Alex Sawyer, Zee Hatcher, Simon Royo-Flores, Carl Donovan and everybody else who was inside Furnace with us. You've made the last three years some of the best in my life!

Cover News!

2010-07-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

I've been talking to my editor in the States about what to do for the cover for Furnace 3, Death Sentence. They had already mocked up something, which I've posted below. I absolutely love this, it's terrifying!!! And it goes so well with the other covers. However, they have decided that they want to go with something a little different, as they're not sure how well teenage readers will respond to a cover with an old man on it. I can't wait to see what they come up with. But I just wanted to to show this to you because it's so incredibly creepy and they've captured the warden's evil so well!

Win Books!

2010-07-20T03:34:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting the wonderful Australian author Simmone Howell, who is over in the country as part of a national UK tour. We went for a drink and had a great chat about writing and loads of other stuff too. It was great to meet her, and I'd highly recommend checking out her books, which are wonderful. She is doing events all around the country, so if you get a chance to go and see her then do!

Simmone has a set of Furnace books to give away, and she is running a competition on her blog now. If you fancy winning the first three books in the series, all signed, then get over there!

http://postteentrauma.blogspot.com/

Thanks Simmone!!

From the Caves...

2010-06-24T02:30:00.000-07:00

Check out my first post on the Trapped by Monsters blog here – and see the first book I ever wrote!

Even even more cover news!

2010-06-23T10:27:00.000-07:00

This isn't the final cover for Furnace: Execution, but it's almost there. I love it, what does everybody think?

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering what 'Furnace: Execution' is, it's the new name for the fifth and final book the series. It was originally due to be called 'Furnace: The Crimson Mile', which was a nod to one of my favourite writers, but I thought 'Execution' was scarier, clearer, and more in keeping with the rest of the series!

Good title? Bad title? Let me know!

Brand New Blog (but I've been Trapped by Monsters)!!

2010-06-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

If you're reading this on my blog then you might have noticed that I've had the whole thing redesigned! I've been trying to blog more regularly, and I thought what better motivation than to have an awesome new layout complete with pictures and video and loads more booky bling. I didn't do this myself, I have to confess, I hired a very cool guy called Ian Forster to do it for me. Thanks Ian!

However, just when I thought I might be able to blog at least fairly often I suffered a hideous, terrifying blow! I was invited to do a talk the other day in a place called Boggart's Gob, and happily accepted thinking it would be a lovely literary festival like so many others I have been to. On arriving, however, there was just one large, moist, smelly tent with a banner hanging over it on which 'Book orfurs in heer' had been written. Despite being slightly suspicious I walked inside – only to discover that I wasn't in a tent at all but an actual Boggart's Gob! It took me a little while to pass through the foul beast's digestive system, and when I finally plopped out of its rear end I realised that things were far, far worse that I ever could have imagined. I had been...

Trapped By Monsters!!!

Yes, my worst fears have come true. Having earlier this year attempted and failed to rescue the eight authors held captive underground by hellish monster jailors (read all about it here), I now find myself buried miles beneath the earth, deeper even than Furnace Penitentiary, where the worst nightmares of the world dwell in filth and squalor.

You can read about my first encounter with the other unfortunate authors here.

So I'll be blogging regularly over there from now on (I don't want to, but the monsters have told me if I fail to obey them they'll make harps from my intestines, drumsticks from my arm bones and maracas from my, er... well, you get the idea). And if anyone has any great ideas for a rescue then let me know!

By the way, if you ever get invited to a place called Boggart's Gob then please, for the love of all that's holy, don't go!!

Even More Cover News!

2010-05-18T00:44:00.000-07:00

Hot on the heels of the new US cover for Lockdown comes the brand new US cover for Solitary. I think it looks awesome, really great colouring, and they'll make an amazing set. And more good news is the fact that they've removed the tagline from the cover of Lockdown, which is a huge relief! Anyway, as always let me know what you think!

I love them!!

More Cover News!

2010-05-06T01:52:00.000-07:00

My publishers in the States have just sent me the cover for the paperback version of Lockdown and I have to say I was blown away when I saw it! I absolutely love it. Talking to people who've read the books, most say that the characters who stuck with them the most, who gave them nightmares, were the wheezers – those gas-mask wearing, hypodermic wielding freaks who stalk the prison at night dragging inmates off into the tunnels beneath the cells. So it's great to have such a striking, terrifying image of a wheezer smack bang on the front cover!

Of course some of you might be wondering why this particular wheezer is wearing a full gas mask, rather than the half-mask they do in the books. Well, the answer is artistic license! I don't think book jackets have to be 100% accurate to the story. The wonderful UK covers for the Furnace series certainly aren't. The job of a book cover is to try and sum up the flavour of the story in an appealing, eye-catching way, a strong visual advert for what kind of book it is. For Lockdown, the cover needs to set up an atmosphere of claustrophobia and fear, a promise of terror, and I think this does it absolutely perfectly. I'm thrilled!

I think this new design is being transferred over to the hardbacks as well, which is a shame in a way because I loved the old design too. But this one really is fantastic! The only thing I'm not sure about is the slogan...

What do you think?

Furnace: Fugitives

2010-04-26T02:28:00.000-07:00

The cover copy for Furnace 4 has just arrived! Spoiler alert!!!

We escaped Furnace, but the nightmare followed us.

We broke out of Furnace but we’re still not free. The city is in lockdown; roads sealed, police everywhere. And there are worse things here – creatures of death sent to bring the world to its knees.

I’m turning into one of them, into a monster. To put an end to this blood-crazed madness I have to travel into the heart of the darkness. I have to find Alfred Furnace before he finds me.

Soon the whole world will be a prison.

Whadya think?

Brothers and Writing

2010-04-21T01:54:00.000-07:00

This is a piece I wrote for the Guardian Family section three years ago about writing and brothers. I'd totally forgotten about it!

"I still remember that icy day in late February, 1996, salting the path while I waited for Mum to return home, and not doing a very good job in the hope that she and the new baby would slide right on past the front door and into someone else’s life.

I was sixteen, and after teenage years of unparalleled clumsiness around girls I was finally growing into the person I’d always wanted to be. There were big things ahead, but all of a sudden there was a very little thing threatening to undermine my newfound confidence with some overpowering noises and odours.

And it wasn’t just the fact that there was a baby in the house that was upsetting. The new arrival confirmed – in a way that several years of living together and even marriage hadn’t done – a relationship between Mum and a man who was twenty years her senior, and who was separated from my fourteen-year-old sister and me by what seemed like ten generations, not one.

I had wanted things to change, but not in this direction. And each ear-piercing scream that penetrated the fabric of our small bungalow was a painful reminder of the way things were. (And it’s true what they say, a baby’s cry cannot be ignored – even by a sixteen-year-old with a new stereo and a penchant for Metallica.)

It was only some weeks later that I began to appreciate this tiny, wriggling creature that had invaded my life. It was partly the fact that he now had a name, Jamie, and his wrinkly little body was fleshing out like a balloon gradually being filled with air – both of which made him, in my eyes, a person not a thing. Of course, it might also have had something to do with the fact that Mum decided a new baby with the vocal strength of an opera singer was not the best way to help two teenagers revising for their exams, and had decided to move into her husband’s house down the road.

Far enough away not to interrupt Neighbours, but close enough to see every day, Jamie suddenly became a very welcome addition to the family. Still holding on to the vestiges of my teenage annoyance, I tried to maintain an aura of grumpiness every time I went round to visit him, but he would only need to burble or burp or sneeze or laugh and I’d feel my heart melting. I couldn’t quite believe that he was my brother, that we were related, and each time I saw him I realized with greater clarity that the big things I had planned were actually ridiculously tiny in the grand scheme of things, and that this little thing was one of the most important people in my life.

So my plans changed. Instead of packing my bags and finding the university that was geographically furthest from my house – standard practice post-A-Level – I decided to stay put. By this time Jamie was a toddler, and we’d see each other most days. The mere thought of going for weeks, maybe months, without Lego inventions or water pistol fights or trips to the toyshop or endless adventures in the garden was unbearable. I knew, without being aware of it, that my little brother was an anchor, one that kept me close to everything and everyone I loved. I can’t even begin to imagine where, and who, I’d be now if he hadn’t come along.

But while he anchored me physically to a little corner of suburban Norwich, imaginatively he opened up whole new worlds. Seeing Jamie meant putting the stress and strain of life on hold. I could forget about work, with him there were no burgers to flip, no clocks to punch, no letters to file, no rear ends to kiss – there were only adventures waiting to be experienced.

We would cast our boat away from the real world, sailing to fantastic islands, to long-forgotten times and places not yet discovered. We would battle terrifying foes, invent gadgets with miraculous powers, take rides on breathtaking flying machines or dive to the very depths of the oceans on the backs of sea monsters. We would be pirates, astronauts, heroes, villains, saints and devils, a myriad of vocations all united by the fact that whatever we were, the world was ours.

Carl Jung claimed that “the debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable”, and the truth is that without the daydreams that Jamie and I shared then my life would have taken a drastically different path. Each adventure reawakened my own childhood fantasies, taking root in my imagination and evolving until my head was full of stories. I’d always wanted to be a writer, but these ambitions had been put to one side while I focused on what I thought were the grander, more important aspects of living – money, security, employment, education. Now each of these stories was proof that play was more important than pay, and it was the only sign I needed to pack in the job and pick up a pen.

And so the creative union that Jamie and I had forged in our minds blossomed into one that filled countless notebooks with ideas. Each daydreamed story became an adventure on paper that we would return to again and again, almost obsessively. We spent hours together, discussing characters, plots, young heroes and charming villains – translating worlds into words – but it was the years of play which allowed these tales to practically write themselves.

We dreamed of being published, but although we didn’t consciously acknowledge it the real rewards of our creative relationship lay elsewhere. It is true that you can learn more about yourself and your loved ones from an hour of play than a year of conversation, and these imagined games let Jamie and I communicate about the significant things in life without the need to reference them directly. For both of us these games, and the stories they led to, became a way of working through the issues that were bothering us, the things we found difficult. After all, when troubles are reduced to games and words, you have control.

I guess that, most importantly, the time that Jamie and I have spent playing and writing has shown me that the most important relationship you can have with a child is one where creativity and imagination rein, where stories are as important as real life. It’s this freedom which teaches the young how to cope with everything that life throws at them, which proves that anything is possible, and which reminds adults that, in the words of Pablo Neruda, “the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.”

***

Of course, like all stories, this one has another side to it. Two years after Mum gave birth to Jamie, she had another child. By this stage, Jamie and I were inseparable, and I was delighted at the thought of having a second brother to recruit into our games. But the night Matthew was born we discovered he had Down’s Syndrome.

I know it shouldn’t make any difference – brothers are brothers, after all – yet it does. I remember the first time I met him, now eighteen, holding his hand and trying to will the condition out of him. It’s something I still try to do, even though I know that I’m allowing the disorder to define him. But it’s so difficult not to. Matthew is now nine, and his vocabulary is limited to a few words. And with no language I don’t know how to find my way into the adventures that take place inside his head. I want to create stories with Matthew the same way I do with Jamie, to forge the same spirit of play, but the imaginings of my youngest brother seem to be his alone, a private viewing that has become a barrier between us.

It gives me no small amount of shame to see the differences in the relationships I had with my brothers. I spent so much of my free time with Jamie, but didn’t know how to act around Matthew; I took Jamie on trips every week, but I couldn’t handle Matthew on my own; I wrote stories with Jamie, but I only ever considered writing a book about Matthew, not with him; and while Jamie anchored me, I felt lost with Matthew. It was enough to make me hide the “World’s Greatest Brother” keyring Jamie gave me every time I went round to see Matthew.

But writing books with one brother has also brought me closer to the other. The end result may be all about words, but the process of creation is far more important, and I know now that creative play isn’t limited to vocabulary. I’ve made the mistake of thinking that because Matthew cannot express his stories, he doesn’t have any. But language is a form of knowledge, and according to Einstein knowledge is limited. Imagination, on the other hand, is boundless, eternal, it encircles the world and isn’t restricted by anything, including Down’s Syndrome. I guess in that way, it’s just like brotherhood."

Make a list...

2010-04-19T08:26:00.000-07:00

I was at a book launch last week for a great friend of mine, John Osborne, who has just published 'The Newsagent's Window'. It's the story of a year in his life "spent living vicariously through newsagents windows" and it's a fantastic read. While I was there I got talking to another friend, Tim, about working from home, and he mentioned something that I've been meaning to blog about for a while now.

Making lists.

I always found organisation the hardest thing about working from home. I've never been very good at planning my time, and if I have more than one thing to do it can often throw me into a total spin. I panic, I reel, I throw tantrums. Even if I have, say, just two things to do they tend to crash around each other in my mind like two boats on a roiling ocean, caught in the monstrous pull of some vast, hungry Charybdis, spiraling into complete and utter splintery destruction. And if, god forbid, there are more than two things on my daily agenda then I may as well not get out of bed. The moment I try to work out what I'm going to do first those items separate like a flock of startled birds, becoming a storm of flapping wings and pained squawks that sits like an impenetrable white noise over my futile attempt at planning.

Mixed metaphors aside, there is a very easy way of dealing with this. So easy, you might think, that it isn't actually worth writing down here. But I think it is. So many of my friends are self-employed, and when I speak to them about this one simple technique for staying in control they usually look at me like I've told them the answer to two plus two. The ones who have never made lists go away laughing, but the next time I see them they treat me like I've given them the secret to never paying taxes again. It's so simple, I think, that people don't think it's worth doing. But it is!

Make a list.

See, simple. So simple that you're probably thinking you don't need to do it. But you do, it's essential. As soon as I got into the habit of making a list – on paper, with a pen – of things I had to do that day I found that I could manage my time. Not only that, but managing time became easy and, dare I say it, fun. Instead of flapping around like a wounded bat, unable to see how I would be able to make it through the day, I discovered that I had a purpose – to cross off as many items on the list as possible. My agenda was no longer an impenetrable vortex of 'to dos' that had no start and no finish, a hurried risotto of ingredients that were so numerous and so mixed that I didn't know where to start. It was a list, a simple, beautiful list with little boxes next to each thing. I could focus, I could see clearly. I would do one thing and cross it off. Then, like a machine, I would move onto the next. And the next. Marking a neat little 'x' became an obsession. I became relentless in my organisation, like some creative writing terminator. I would complete today's itemised mission in an orderly and efficient manner. I was the Arnie of getting things done.

Now I have no doubt that anybody reading this who does work from home will probably already make lists. But even if there is one person who decides to give it a go then this post has been worth it. Try it. It really will change your life.

I've just ticked the 'Post List Blog' item on today's page of the diary, one of seven items. Six have already been checked. Seven glorious x's, one sigh of complete satisfaction, and done.

Is it a bird... Is it a plane...

2010-04-19T08:15:00.001-07:00

No, hang on a minute, it's the SUN!!!! It's been so long I barely recognised it. What an amazing few days, though, it felt like summer! I forced myself to put work to one side in order to make the most of this bizarre phenomenon. On Thursday Lynsey, Lucy and I went to Thrigby Hall, which was so cool. It's basically a small zoo, but there is an impressive range of beastly beasties on display. Tigers, alligators, panthers, monkeys, you name it! My favourite had to be the otters, though. They were rolling around in the sunshine and they just looked so cute! Well worth a trip if you've never been before.

Lynsey and I also managed to escape to the beach on Saturday, which was lovely. We drove up to Sheringham and it really did feel like the middle of the summer holidays. I was even tempted to go for a swim... But decided to settle for a beer and an ice cream instead. We finished off the weekend with the first family barbeque of the year. It's always so nice to have the family over for burgers and beer, and even though it was getting a little chilly by the end of the day it was still great fun!

Alas, it's a little cloudy today so I took that as a sign to get back to work. Furnace 4 to edit and Furnace 5 to write, all before the end of May. I'll have to lock myself away in the gloomy confines of my office if I stand any chance of meeting that deadline. Still, at least I caught a glimpse of the sun before I close the door behind me...

Furnace 4: The Window Cleaner

2010-04-15T03:08:00.000-07:00

Authors have surprisingly little input into the covers for their books. At least that's been my experience. It's one of the things I was actually quite surprised at when my first book was published, especially because at Egg Box we always gave authors a large amount of input into their covers, although the final design was always up to us. I don't necessarily mind too much, I mean I'm not a great designer and if I tried to design my own cover it would probably look daft (I'd probably go for a big picture of my face). But all the same it's nice to have a say. I know quite a few people whose experience of jacket design has gone a little like this:

Publisher: I've attached the cover rough to this email, could you let us know whether you like it?

Author: I've had a look and it's not really the sort of thing I wanted. Could we maybe go for something different?

Publisher: Ah, well I'm afraid it's a bit late in the day for that. This is your cover.

Author: Oh.

I feel I've been pretty lucky with my covers at Faber. I honestly love them, and the cover for Furnace 4 is no different. Although saying that, the first version that my editor Julia sent me wasn't quite as dramatic as I'd have liked, because it featured what looked like a window cleaner... If you look very closely you can see him, cleaning the U of FURNACE:

And in close up:

I wrote back and said that I loved the idea but wasn't too sure about the window cleaner. I mean there is no window cleaner in the book! I was even pondering whether to add a window cleaner to the book just in case it was too late to change the cover. Fortunately, however, there was no need. In the next version of the cover the window cleaner had been removed and replaced by a policeman, which is far more fitting really. It's not that I have anything against window cleaners, of course!

There are some interesting stories about past Furnace covers too (involving gorillas), I'll post them here when I have a chance!

Chillaxin'

2010-04-13T02:31:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy couple of months, so it's great to be able to have a little time to, as Lucy calls it, chillax. Which I hope is a hybrid of chill and relax, not chilis and laxative. As you can see, I'm currently using my time to think up incredibly funny jokes.

Why has it been so busy? Well, February was almost entirely spent writing. From the 28th of January to the 27th February (my birthday) I locked myself away with my laptop and at the end of the month emerged with the first draft of Furnace 4. It was a crazy, breathless ride and I hope that shows in the book. It is fairly relentless, and gory, but the action scenes are some of my absolute favourites in the series so far – including an insane battle at the end. But of course I can't say any more about that! Julia, my editor at Faber, asked for a couple of minor changes (mainly bits that were too gory) and I've made them, and now the book is with Trevor, the copy editor, who will polish it up. Then it will be on the shelves in October! Here, exclusively, is the cover – it's not the finished version but it's close! What do you think?

I love it!

After one day off I began an Easter tour on 1st March. Now I'd like to blog about this separately, because so much happened, but to give you a summary it involved four weeks, 30 events, 2,000+ kids, 1,000 miles in the car, 11 train journeys, two terrifying flights, a dozen taxis, lots of walking, five hotels, ten full English (and one full Irish) breakfasts! It was all great fun, though. Well, apart from the flights... Thanks to everyone who helped organise this, and everyone who came to listen! I'll blog in more detail soon!

So April has been much less busy, although there has been lots of catching up with things. Lots and lots. But it hasn't all been work. I've ordered a new bathroom, which is awesome as mine is in a terrible (and terrifying) state. You pretty much catch diphtheria every time you brush your teeth. They're coming to install it next month. There have also been a few more birthdays (it's the birthday season in our family), including my littlest bro Matthew. Here he is blowing out the candles on his cake!

The next big birthday is Lucy's later in the month. She's going to Laserquest which is so cool! I can't wait! The weather has been getting a little better so we've been spending a fair bit of time at the park, especially as Lucy has a brand new bike. And we even ventured to the beach this week, although it was freeeeeeezing! We had an awesome game of pirate crazy golf in Yarmouth. Well, awesome except for the fact that Jamie beat me!! Lucy kind of won the day though as she managed to get a hole in one.

Anyway, that's kind of what life has been like so far this year. I'll be throwing myself into Furnace 5 very soon as the deadline for it is the beginning of June. It's going to be really weird writing the final book in Alex's adventure, especially as I don't have a clue what's going to happen to him! Keep your fingers crossed for a happy ending...

I'm also working on an exciting new project, a publishing company called Inkling Studios. It's something I'm setting up with Lynsey and Lucy, and although it's still in its very early days it should hopefully be great fun! I've put the logo below, and I'll tell you more about it soon!

But first, a couple more days of chillaxin'!

Reviews!

2010-01-25T02:18:00.000-08:00

Wes, my editor in the US, has sent me some Lockdown feedback from the review journals and I'm happy to say it's all good news! Lockdown has also been named as one of the top ten American Library Association's Quick Picks for Reluctant Readers which is awesome! I've posted the reviews below!

VOYA (Voice of American Youth Association)
Fourteen-year-old Alex gets into trouble—not the kind of trouble that would come back to haunt him but enough to make life interesting. He and his friends beat up kids for money, and have gotten good at pilfering from houses. Alex’s deceitful ways catch up with him when a group of men in black frame him for murder. Alex is tried and convicted within a matter of days and is sent to hell on Earth—or rather below the Earth—Furnace Penitentiary. Kids who are sent to Furnace never come out. The men in black torture the inmates, sometimes taking them in the middle of the night only to have them resurface as monstrous creatures whose sole purpose is to kill. Alex knows he must find a way out of Furnace before the men in black come for him, but no one has ever escaped. Will he be the one to find the way out?

This novel is Smith’s debut in the United States. It is one of those leave-you-on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrill rides that will grab the reader right from the start. Teens will appreciate Smith’s vivid imagery. His writing is extremely fluid, and he makes the reader feel for the characters, especially the young protagonist, Alex. Readers will be cheering him on from start to finish. Look for the sequel, Solitary, forthcoming in 2010. Readers will be anxious to see where Alex’s adventures take him next.—Jonatha Basye.

Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books
R [= Recommended]
Grade 9 - 12
After an eruption of gang violence bleeds into Britain's middle- and upper-class neighborhoods, leaving hundreds of innocents dead, authorities decide to build Furnace Penitentiary. Located a mile underground, it's the world's most secure prison, and the final destination for accused youth regardless of their guilt or innocence. Framed for his best friend's murder, fourteen-year-old Alex Sawyer begins his life sentence in Furnace and discovers that the terrifying rumors of its bleakness pale in comparison with the prison's horrific reality. Ruthless guards, hard labor, mutated monsters, and the constant threat of death force Alex to attempt what has never been done before--escape. Not for the faint-hearted, this dramatic British import is both a page- and stomach-turner. Alex's narration depicts with harsh clarity the prison's pitiless brutality, his choice of metaphors becoming increasingly coarse as if it to remind the reader of the true wretchedness of his surroundings. Meanwhile, the pacing is superb, building on the tension as each horror is revealed while saving the ultimate monstrosity for the cliffhanger ending. Granted, Alex himself and the other boys he meets within Furnace are a bit two-dimensional; nonetheless, readers will find themselves rooting for even the most violent of the inmates as they try to make their escape and defeat the Furnace.

ALA's School Library Journal
Gr 7-10–When Alex Sawyer, 15, is sentenced to life in a horrific underground prison for a murder he didn’t commit, his nightmare is only beginning. Ever since the Summer of Slaughter, when gangs such as the Skulls and the Fifty-niners went on a murderous rampage, the government has been throwing away the key on juvenile offenders. “New fish” Alex and cellmate Donovan sleep in pitch-black darkness patrolled by furless dogs with silver eyes and “blacksuits” in gas masks. Unpredictable siren wails keep prisoners in check, forcing them to race back to their cells before the bars close–lockdown–or risk being killed. Alex is also “Skull Fodder,” at the mercy of inmate gang members, and he realizes how similarly he once bullied kids in his own school. Smith builds a convincing atmosphere of fear and oppression until one day Alex catches a waft of fresh air from an off-limits area near his work zone. He becomes obsessed with the idea of escaping, and the mood shifts with the glimmer of hope that there could be a way out. Once a plot is hatched, readers will be turning pages without pause, and the cliff-hanger ending will have them anticipating the next installment. Most appealing is Smith’s flowing writing style, filled with kid-speak, colorful adjectives, and amusing analogies. Fans of James Patterson’s “Maximum Ride” and Darren Shan’s “The Demonata” series (both Little, Brown) will find this satisfying fare.–Vicki Reutter, Cazenovia High School, NY

Realms of Fantasy
Petty thief Alex’s latest heist turns tragic and life-altering when he’s interrupted by a set of mysterious men, who kill his best friend and frame him for the murder. Victim of Britain’s new zero-tolerance policy, he’s sentenced to life in Furnace, a bizarre, inhumane prison located a mile underground. Now he has to contend with vicious youth gangs, horrifying jailors, and the disturbing secrets of the world’s deadliest penitentiary, where death is nowhere near the worst thing that can happen. Alex will escape, or die trying. This nightmarish start to a new series is unrelentingly bleak, uniquely horrifying, and strangely compelling.

Booklist
Positing a near-future backlash against teen crime (and teens in general), Smith sets his series opener in a squalid prison for juvenile offenders built deep underground and patrolled by surgically altered supermen with vicious, skinless dogs. Framed (like a suspicious number of his fellow inmates) for a murder he did not commit, Alex is plunged into a desperate struggle for survival amid constant sirens, lurid lighting, nightmares, gang violence, and terrifying encounters with the prison’s scary guardians. Smith establishes a quick pace with an opening chase described in staccato prose, closes with a convoluted but explosive escape for Alex and a handful of allies, and in between crafts a picture of prison life less raw and hideous than what is found in, for instance, Adam Rapp’s Buffalo Tree (1997), but frightening enough to boost reader interest in sequels.

New Website!

2010-01-25T02:12:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to teach myself Flash for a while now (that's teach myself Flash as in the computer website animation programme, not teaching myself to flash, which would just be wrong) and I thought the best way to get to grips with it was to actually try and build a new website.

I'm happy to report that it is now finished! Well, finished enough to be posted online anyway. There are still a few glitches and typos, but I'm quite pleased with it! I'll be working on it for a while to come, but if anyone gets the chance to have a look then please let me know what you think!

Click here to visit it!

Happy New Year!!!

2010-01-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

Can I still say that? I know 2010 isn't really new any more... Well happy new year anyway, and I hope it's a fantastic one for all of you! It was one of my many resolutions to blog more frequently, but like every single one of my resolutions (eat better, exercise every day, write something every day, keep the house tidy etc etc etc) I've already broken it. Never mind!

So, Christmas was lovely, as always. A nice quiet few days with friends and family! I spent Xmas day round at my mum's. Jamie's at an odd age now (nearly 14) where he kind of still likes the cool things I always used to buy him but also likes things like designer underwear (!!) and aftershave. So his pressies were a bit hit and miss this year – he loved the designer underwear, but the awesome water filtration experiment I got him (which he'd have loved a few years back) became the joke of the day! So it looks like I'll be filtering water all by myself in 2010!! I went to Dad's on Boxing Day with Kate, which was great too as I still don't really see him that much! It was lovely to be by the sea for a couple of days too.

And the biggest news over Christmas is that I finally popped the question to Lyns, and she said yes! :-)

After new year I took the gang down to Centerparcs for a week, which was the only holiday I managed to get last year (even though it was technically this year)! It was a super break. I absolutely love Centerparcs, we've been three times now. The whole forest was powdered with snow and looked gorgeous, and the pool was brilliant as always. We spent the whole week swimming, and racing down the rapids, and lounging outside in the heated salt pool as the snow fell all around us. Spectacular! I could quite easily live down there.

Coming back to work last week was a bit of a shock, and I didn't quite manage to get into the swing of it... But there's so much to do!!!! I'm determined to make 2010 a good year, which is difficult when all I want to do is sleep in till midday and play Civilization and Warcraft... I'm never going to get eight novels finished before December at this rate! So, it's back into a writing routine from tomorrow, starting with Furnace 4. I actually can't wait to get stuck into it!

Anyway, happy new year again, and may it be a very special one for all of you!

10 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Lockdown!

2009-12-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

1. The name of the Furnace Penitentiary actually comes from a horror book for adults that I wrote when I was 18. Back then it was a prison for the criminally insane where the inmates were being hunted by bloodthirsty angels! The book was never published, and I loved the name Furnace so I stole it!

2. In the original draft of the novel, Alex Sawyer's name was Alex Smith, the same as mine! I wanted the book to feel as real as possible, so I wrote it with my name and even suggested that the author biography went something along the lines of: "Alexander Smith was convicted of a murder he didn't commit and sentenced to life without parole in Furnace Penitentiary. This is his story." The UK publishers didn't like the idea, though, so his surname was changed to Sawyer!

3. Likewise, Zee's name was originally Zed. However, there were too many instances of "Zed Said" and it was starting to sound like a Dr Seuss book, so I changed it to the American pronunciation, Zee!

4. Originally I wanted Furnace to be a modern prison, built above ground. Then, for research, I went to investigate some medieval dungeons in Norwich, where I live. My cheeky little brother locked me in a cell deep underground in the old prison, and as I was panicking in the tiny, pitch black (and probably haunted) space I decided that the prison would be far more terrifying if it was buried beneath the earth.

5. The only characters I had trouble describing when I was writing Lockdown were the Wheezers. I knew what I wanted them to be but I couldn't pin them down on the page. So I made a real-life Wheezer head out of rubber, burning and painting it until it looked right. I bought an old gas mask and stitched it on, then gave it a filthy rain slicker. Once I had done this I knew exactly what these nightmare creatures looked like, and what it was like to have one in your house! I even took it round to Jamie's house and left it outside his room one night to get revenge for him locking me in a cell!

6. In the UK the series is called Furnace, but it was changed in the US to Escape From Furnace. One of the reasons for this is that Wes, my editor at Farrar, Straus and Giroux, pointed out that in the States most people have a furnace in their basement, and that they aren't particularly scary! In the UK hardly anybody has a furnace!

7. As part of researching the book I thought I owed it to myself to find out what it was like to shoot a gun. After all, there are plenty of gunfights in Lockdown and I wanted the story to feel as genuine and realistic as possible. A friend of mine, Adam, invited me to come shooting for rabbits with him one weekend. I told him I didn't want to shoot anything living, so he informed me that the best thing to shoot was actually... a cowpat! We spent the morning out on the fields doing exactly that. When you shoot a cowpat with a shotgun it literally explodes – it's like watching a poo volcano! There was one unfortunate incident when we both shot a giant cowpat at the same time. It rose up, caught the wind, and surged in the direction of Adam's little brother, who was out shooting with us. The poor boy turned around to see a wall of cow dung flying towards him. He didn't have time to dodge. He didn't even have time to close his mouth. It was so disgusting! As well as being hilarious, the experience really helped me describe what it was like to fire a gun.

8. When I first pitched the series to my agent I misspelled the name of the book in the email, calling it FUNRACE (I was so excited about the idea I sent it off without checking)! She probably thought the story was about a jolly marathon – until she read the synopsis!

9. I called one of the villains in the book Kevin Arnold without noticing that it was the same name as the kid in The Wonder Years (even though I always used to watch the show). I could have changed it, but thought it would be interesting to have such a horrible character share the name of one of the nicest kids on television!

10. In the trailer for Furnace (which you can see here), the boy burgling the house is my little brother, Jamie, and the Wheezer is actually me!

New Challenge: Eight Novels in a Year

2009-12-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my last event for a few months and it went brilliantly – a whole day of talks and workshops with Year 8 at Heathersett High School in Norwich. I have to say that the pupils who came to the talk, and especially those who joined in the workshops, were amongst the best that I have ever worked with – so full of amazing, and gory, ideas! Thanks to you all for being so much fun to work with, and to Sara and Lorraine for inviting me in!

It's been a really busy year with events and editing, and of course having the first three books in the Furnace series published. It's been amazing fun, but there hasn't been a huge amount of time to do any writing. I have written two very short books this year, which is great, but nowhere near as many as I wanted to write. And to be honest I think I have become a little lazy in my writing habits. So, in order to inspire myself to start writing seriously again, I have set myself a challenge:

I am going to write eight novels in a year.

Yes, eight novels between now, today, the 1st of December 2009, and the 30th November 2010. Why eight? Well, it was going to be 12, then I thought that would probably kill me. Then I said six, but I didn't think that was challenging enough (I mean it would still be a huge challenge, but I'd probably end up not starting until next summer or something, I needed it to be such a huge task that I'd have to start right away), so then I went to 10, and thought that was too challenging, and finally settled on eight.

Of course I'm not intending to write eight flawless, finished novels in this time (me write a flawless novel, ha!). No, the idea is to write eight first drafts that I can then move on and edit and trim and finish at my own pace. Really what I want to do is write write write and get some ideas down on paper, actually get some manuscripts written. Some of them may be rubbish, but they'll at least be a starting point.

Can I do it? I'm not sure. The most I've ever written in a year was three full-length novels and a screenplay. But I'll have six weeks to finish each book, and I don't think it's ever taken me longer than that to finish the first draft of a novel. Anyway, the fun will be in the trying!

I'm thinking that each book will be around 60,000 words long, on average, which is almost half a million words in total. That breaks down into 1,300 (ish) words every day, which sounds very doable if I don't think about the days that I won't be able to write anything at all. Anyway, the more I think about the numbers the worse this idea sounds, so I'm going to do what I do best and not think about the logistics. I'm just going to start writing!

I'll keep you all updated on the blog!

Wish me luck!

PS. Thanks to my good friend Tim Clare for inspiring me. He set himself a challenge of writing 100 poems in a single day which sounded impossible, but he did it! So I'm following his lead!

Lockdown Reviews!

2009-12-01T04:36:00.000-08:00

Just a quick post: I've been meaning to link to some Lockdown reviews in the States for a while now, and here they are! I'll add more when I find them!

Thanks to everybody for the awesome reviews!!!

:-)

Read them here, here, here, here, here, here and here!

A Tribute to Bowser

2009-11-26T05:23:00.000-08:00

No, I don't mean Mario's nemesis, I mean my car. I'm always astonished how easy it is to become attached to inanimate objects. Even though the logical part of your brain is telling you that a car is a hunk of metal and plastic and other lifeless materials, that it cannot possibly hear what you are saying or feel any semblance of human emotion, you still cannot help but think of it as alive, as a living, breathing, thinking, feeling thing.

Which is why, when you have to give up a car, it can be like losing a best friend, a member of the family.

Bowser has been my faithful Volvo V40 for four years now, it has carried me many thousands of miles and joined me on many an adventure. But sadly the week before last his engine went totally bonkers and he started trying to drive himself. Literally trying to drive himself. He was moving forward even when I didn't have my foot on the accelerator. At first I thought that the many years of wishing my car was alive had paid off and he had actually become a sentient vehicle. However, the people at the garage told me his throttle was shot and that he basically needed a new engine. I felt a bit like how Gepetto would have felt if, after witnessing his puppet come to life, somebody had said "actually, he's not alive at all, sorry about that. By the way, if you ever want to use him again it will cost you £3,000". Gutted.

Bowser was my second car, after a little red Dihatsu Charade called Clint which I bought from my friend Luke after uni (and yes, that's where Clint in The Inventors got his name from)! I couldn't really justify spending more money to fix him than I paid to buy him in the first place, so I said my sad farewells and traded him in for another car. But that moment when I patted him on the steering wheel for the last time, gently closed his door and said goodbye was heartbreaking!

Anyway, I'm welling up again now, but I just wanted to write a tribute to Bowser, the best car in the world. Thanks for everything. I'll miss you!

And even though my new car is pretty cool, it doesn't have an ejector seat / rockets / wings and a turn-into-a-boat button like Bowser (okay, you can't really see them on this picture, but he did!):

Room With a View

2009-11-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody! It's been a good long while since my last entry (which is becoming a rather standard first line in my blogs recently) but I have been on tour again so I do have an excuse! But right now I'm sitting in my new office (the picture above is the view from my window, which isn't great I have to admit but that is a field you can kind of see in the distance) with a bit of spare time so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to catch up!

Why the new office? Well, I usually work from home, which is absolutely perfect most of the time. However, anybody who works from home will be able to tell you that it is often quite difficult to motivate yourself to do any work at all. "Working from home" becomes more like "washing up from home" or "doing laundry from home" or, more usual for me "playing on the X-Box from home". There's just something about getting out of bed and strolling through to the living room that really doesn't feel like work.

So... Tired of not getting much done, I decided to look for an office. And it was good timing, as two great friends of mine, Luke and Nathan, were also looking for a space to work in that was far enough from the telly (or in Luke's case a new baby) to be conducive to a little hard work. Luke discovered an old shoe factory just down the road from us that was offering rooms on the cheap, and after a quick look round we took it! It is a fantastic space, and the building itself is very inspiring (well, for horror stories, that is, as it's full of creepy corridors and shadowy old factory floors). I'll take some more piccies soon and post them here.

I haven't had much of a chance to use the office yet (which Luke affectionally named The Garret), as I've been so busy on tour. But I have been sitting here today and it's been so nice to have a space without any distractions (apart from Facebook, and drawing hilarious but inappropriate gags about Nathan on the new blackboard wall...) and I have actually managed to get loads of stuff done!

Anyway, speaking of the tour, I just want to say a huge thanks to everybody who came to see me talk, and who joined in the workshops, I have had an amazing time! I'll write about it in more detail very soon, but for now let me just give a shout out to all the pupils, teachers and librarians at Edenham School, Oasis Academy, the Archbishop Lanfranc School, the Archbishop Tennison School, Harris Academy and Riddlesdown Collegiate in Croydon, Christ's College in Guildford, Seven Stories in Newcastle, the Durham Festival, the Richmond Festival, Worksop Library (and the school that came to visit) and Buxton Library! I think that's everyone... Two more events to go and then I'm taking some time off to do some writing! It has been an amazing month though!

Right, I'm off to Kung Fu, see you all soon!

On Tour!

2009-10-10T09:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been absent for a while, I've been on tour! Yes, a tour, just like the gods of rock – huge triple-decker tour bus with swimming pool and disco, private jets with military escorts, insane riders at venues (I simply must have a bed made from haggis and I must bathe in champagne every evening) and not to mention my entourage of hair designers, make-up artists, fashion experts and foot corn filers.

Well, to be honest not all of that is true. I didn't have a foot corn filer. I have been on tour, though, to promote the release of Furnace 3: Death Sentence. It's all very exciting! I've finished the first leg, and am off on the second tomorrow, so I don't have an awful lot of time to write, but I just wanted to give you a rundown of events so far and say a huge thanks to everyone who came to see me!

First there was the Free Word Festival at the wonderful new Free Word Centre in London. This is an amazing place devoted to literature, literacy and free expression, and well worth checking out! I was just one of a number of things going on that day, including a Shakespeare rap session with Akala and a manga workshop. Thanks to everybody for listening to my talk, and for asking some great questions!

Next I was on the train heading up to Wigtown. Isn't that just the coolest name for a place?! It has nothing to do with wigs, apparently – if anyone does know why it's called Wigtown please do let me know as I forgot to ask! It was a long, long journey up there (my private jet and coach weren't working that day, I think Bono might have borrowed them) but I took my book and the hours just flew by. All nine and a half of them. It would have been nine, but the lovely retired couple who came to collect me at Dumfries Station needed to do their shopping and so I ended up accompanying them on a trip round Tescos! It was dark when I arrived at the hotel, a beautiful place called the Rowallan Guest House, but when I woke up in the morning the views were absolutely stunning! I always forget how beautiful parts of Scotland are, and the west coast is unbeatable.

After a delicious and healthy fry-up with haggis for breakfast I ventured off to get the bus – I mean my private helicopter – to Wigtown. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and after I checked in with the lovely festival organisers I decided to go and have a wander. I had a couple of hours until my event and the countryside was beckoning me! I headed off for the harbour, and arrived after ten minutes of the freshest air you could imagine (I looked like a man about to try and blow up a hundred balloons). I arrived at the harbour, however, just as the heavens opened. And I mean a monsoon! I was only in my T-shirt (well, I had trousers and stuff on as well, I just mean I wasn't wearing a coat) and I legged it back towards town. Half way there I spotted a signpost for a path and gambled on it being a shortcut... It wasn't (of course), and I ended up taking a very muddy, very wet, very windy detour around the entire town. By the time I got back I was drenched and looked like a mud monster. But it had stopped raining so I walked up to the Windy Hill (yes, it is actually called that) and stood there in the gale-force wind until I was reasonably dry.

Here I am on Windy Hill!

By that time it was almost four, so after a quick spot of lunch in the writer's retreat I headed over to the children's tent. Because of the weather there weren't as many people there as there could have been, but everyone who did come was absolutely fantastic! Smaller audiences often work better because everybody gets a chance to talk, and these guys were so full of great ideas – especially when we started coming up with ideas for horror stories! Thanks so much to you all for braving the weather, and I owe a special thanks to Greg for his wonderful introduction! It was a really great event, and I hope I'll be back again next year!

Afterwards, still a little damp, I popped back to the retreat for a cup of tea and ended up chatting to the wonderful Charlie James, author of Fish and Dino Egg. We even came up with a fantastic Wigtown Scooby Doo episode together! After that I made my way back to the lodge and thought about crashing out for a while before heading off to the festival ceilidh (weirdest spelling ever). I especially wanted to go because fellow Faber author Philip Ardagh might have been there. However, after a hot bath and some chocolate the thought of venturing back out in the dark was too much and I ended up watching X-Factor, playing Civ then going to bed! The next day involved more haggis for breakfast, then a long, long trip back to Norwich (but no trip round Tescos this time)!

Thanks to everyone at Wigtown for being so great! And for anyone who has never been, it really is worth it, especially if you like books. It's Scotland's book town and there are about 15 book shops there, maybe more! Heaven!

After a long snooze I was back on the road (well, the railway tracks) the following day, this time heading in the other direction. I was going down to Kent, to the Petts Wood Library. I got there two minutes after I was supposed to start, and launched myself straight in to my talk. The library was packed, which was wonderful, and it was a younger crowd than the ones I've been talking to recently which was such a nice change! They all laughed their socks off as I talked about building crazy inventions, making rocket boots out of fireworks and shooting cowpats with shotguns, and once again there were some brilliant ideas for stories! Most of them bought books afterwards as well, although sadly there were no copies of The Inventors there because I think it's out of print. ARGH! I'll find out and let you all know! But thanks to you all for making it a fantastic event, and a special thanks too to Jenny for organising it all! I had a great time!

The next event was an extra special one because it took place in another of my old schools! This time my old infant school, Bignold, in Norwich. It was so weird going back there after twenty-five years. Yes, you heard right, a quarter of century! But the weird thing was it smelled exactly the same. In fact that's one of the few things I can remember about Bignold, the smell. It's not a bad smell, just a school smell, but it takes you right back to your early days! I also vaguely remember playing kissy-cat in the playground when I was at Bignold (er, when I was a kid, that was, not when I visited the other day!!) but other than that I don't remember much at all!

I was giving a talk to years 4, 5 and 6 so the hall was absolutely packed. But they were an amazing audience, one of the best I've ever spoken to, and at times they were laughing so hard I thought the windows were going to explode! Thanks to you all for coming up with some great scary ideas and for being such stars! This will definitely go down as one of the best events I've ever done! Thanks to you all, and also to Rachel and Lisa for organising it! I'll definitely be back in soon to do some workshops!

Tomorrow I'm off to London for a week of school events, which I'm really looking forward to! If I'm coming to visit your school then get thinking about scary stories now!

I'll try and blog again as soon as humanly possible. And once again a massive thanks to everyone who came to see me!

Hai Ya!

2009-09-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a busy one, preparing for our Kung Fu testing on Sunday. We did our first grading three months ago – learning the basic stances, blocks, kicks and punches for our white fringe. Going for the yellow fringe is a great deal harder, however, as you have to have mastered the first three forms – long, complicated routines of punches, kicks and stance work. I love doing forms. They are difficult, but extremely satisfying once you've committed them to memory. And they're great exercise too! So on Saturday we were about to start training when Jamie dropped a bombshell – he didn't want to do Kung Fu any more! It's such a shame as it was something I really enjoyed doing with him, but the last thing I want to do is force him to do it. Hopefully it's just a phase and he'll come back to it when he's ready.

So, sans Jamie, Lynsey, Lucy and I headed over to our Kung Fu school on Sunday afternoon, all extremely nervous and convinced that we'd forgotten everything. There were quite a few people doing their testing this time round (which is good in some ways as you can hide at the back behind them all) and we all passed without a problem! So now we've all got our yellow fringes, which really does feel like quite an achievement. Well done everybody! We start learning the forms for an orange fringe today, and they look DIFFICULT!!! We rewarded ourselves with a big dominos pizza (well, three of them actually) plus loads of chocolate and then the four of us played poker and watched the first Harry Potter film.

The weekend wasn't all work, though (not that you can really call any of that work...). On Saturday afternoon Jamie and I went to the cinema to see The Final Destination. We're both big fans of the previous three films, and the fact that this one was in 3D made it unmissable! The plot was EXACTLY the same as its predecessors. And I mean EXACTLY the same. Only with different death scenes. But the death scenes were what we were going to see, so that's okay! Every time I see a 3D film I'm amazed by the technology, and this was the first time I'd seen a live action movie in 3D. Absolutely stunning. It really looked like there was blood and guts spurting out of the screen. Lovely! So I'd recommend going to see this at the cinema as on a 2D screen at home it will just be a rubbish horror movie!

And last night Nathan popped round for another Fallout 3 session. I just love this game sooooooo much. I still wish I lived in the Wasteland, how cool would that be?!

Anyway, I'd better do some writing this week as I'm getting a bit lazy... Life can't be all Kung Fu, cinema and computer games. Can it...?

Correction!

2009-09-12T04:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've been asked to correct a heinous error in the last post. Apparently Lyns DID make it to the top of the Walter Scott monument, and she was actually the first person up there. So I'm very sorry about that!

Edinburgh!

2009-09-11T03:16:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to blog about Edinburgh all week but I've only just got around to it. I haven't had a chance to upload all the pics and video from my show yet, but I'll add them in a little later!

In previous years I've always headed north by myself, but this year I wanted to make an occasion of it and have a little holiday too so Lyns, Lucy and Jamie accompanied me. We all clambered, luggage-laden, onto the train on Wednesday morning to brave the long trip up the east coast. Lyns wanted to fly, but there was no way!! It's a lengthy old trip across the border – an hour and a half to Peterborough from Norwich then another four hours or so to Edinburgh, but we passed the time playing on the DSs and battling with Jamie's new Magic: The Gathering cards. Before we knew it we were clambering, luggage-laden, off the train and into a taxi.

I love Edinburgh. I think it's probably my favourite city in the world (sorry Norwich, I love you too, just not as much). I think it's the architecture that I love most. Everywhere you look in Edinburgh the sights are just breathtaking – not just the castle but the regency buildings and the monuments, and beyond them the hills and the Forth. It's just spectacular. I'd have moved there years ago if it was a little closer, and if the weather wasn't so bloody awful!! We were staying in Channings, which is a gorgeous townhouse hotel a ten minute walk out of town. Apparently it's the friendliest hotel in Edinburgh, and we weren't disappointed. We were in a two-bedroom suite (well, a family room, but two-bedroom suite sounds so much better!) in the basement, but even down there the views out of the huge windows were great! We had a bit of an explore of the hotel, then wandered up to Princes Street, but the rain eventually drove us back to Channings for a meal. I couldn't really enjoy myself, though, because I was anxious about my show...

I needn't have been! The Edinburgh International Book Festival is an amazing event – if you've never been then you just have to check it out next year. There's so much going on, all in a wonderful location. This was the third year that I've been invited, although unfortunately I had to miss my first ever show here back in 2007. Last year I did a brilliantly fun event with John Fardell, and this year I was on my lonesome, which made it even more terrifying! I think the biggest fear when you do an event is that nobody will come, and when I arrived in Charlotte Square 45 minutes before my show to see the place looking quite empty I started to panic. Oh no, there are going to be three people there – Lyns, Lucy and Jamie – and I'm never going to be invited back. I'm just going to run away and hide! I went and sat in the author yurt (yes, it really is called that, it's great – last year I was in there with Sean Connery!) and tried to relax. Patrick Ness was in there too and I really wanted to say hi but I was too nervous and didn't really know what to say! After a few minutes the chair of my show arrived – a lovely woman called Yvonne who told me how much she loved Furnace, which was very sweet. We chatted a while and she put me at ease. Then with a few minutes left to go Sara Grady, the fantastic woman who runs the children's side of the festival, came to collect us. Fortunately when I stepped outside there were loads of kids there, and I was delighted to see that many of them were queueing up outside my venue! We waited outside the door for a few minutes (and people kept coming up and asking me where the loos were – it must have been the bright orange T-shirt I was wearing, even if it did have a rather large skull on it!) then it was time!

When I went through the door I saw that the event was sold out! There must have been 130ish people in there, including Lyns, Lucy and Jamie (who had come very close to arriving late thanks to Lynsey's awful navigation skills). I was delighted (if still absolutely terrified). Yvonne introduced me, then I was on! It was a great event, the audience were so responsive – especially when asked about their greatest fears. Two shout-outs have to go to the boy who said his greatest fear was Glasgow, and the girl in the front row who kept talking about having her eyes ripped out (by spoons, I think, and by insects). By the end of the session we had some absolutely wonderful story ideas. It was one of the best events I've ever done, and thanks so much to everybody who came. Jamie actually filmed it, so I'll try and post the video on the site sometime soon. Afterwards I hopped across the path to the bookshop and signed for nearly an hour. They sold out of books so I was signing slips of paper and allsorts! By the end of it I was absolutely exhausted, but it wasn't over yet! I was doing an outreach event – part of a wonderful programme to bring book festival shows to less privileged parts of the city – and a great guy called Colm whisked me off in a taxi to the McDonald Road Library where I did a smaller but equally enjoyable show. Thanks so much to the pupils who came to this one too, I had a fantastic time and you were all great. Let me know if you turn any of those great ideas into stories! Oh and because there weren't books at this event I ended up signing about twenty arms, which is a first!

So thanks again everybody for making my events in Edinburgh go so fantastically well – hopefully I'll see you all next year!

Utterly knackered, I headed back to the hotel and chilled out for a bit and waited for the gang to come back from a day of shopping. After a bit of relaxation we decided to go out for something to eat, and ended up heading round to the south side of the castle, and the Grassmarket. I love that part of Edinburgh – it always reminds me of going there with my dad when I was little. There used to be a shop that sold spooky Polish posters that we would always visit, although I can't seem to find it there now. It had started to rain again (surprise surprise) so we dashed into a Steak and Oyster bar for a meal. I didn't really fancy a steak as I'd had a burger for lunch, so I had mussels. They were gross!!! I pride myself on being able to eat anything, but I really struggled with these. Blurgh! Jamie ate most of mine, even though he'd eaten a bucket of mussels himself! It was late by the time we'd walked back to the hotel, so we decided to have an early night and save our energy for tomorrow – Lynsey's birthday!

In the morning me, Jamie and Lucy went and had a slap-up breakfast while Lyns had a lie-in, and we brought her back a mountain of toast and danish pastries. We'd said that Lyns could do whatever she wanted today, and she wanted to visit the castle, which was great. We walked across town, getting a bit lost in the Princes Street gardens, then up the steepist hill in the world to get to the castle gates. The tattoo was on all month, so the view was obscured a bit by the scaffolding, but once we'd got past that the castle looked superb. We had a good wander round, and luckily the weather was clear so we could enjoy the spectacular vistas from the top (although the freezing wind was doing its best to blow us off the edge)! Lyns and Lucy watched a show about Mary Queen of Scots while Jamie and I went to eat (I had haggis, delicious)! Then we headed back down into town. Next Lynsey wanted to go to the camera obscura which is just outside the castle gates. It's an amazing place – not just because of the pinhole camera which lets you spy on the city below, but because of all the mega cool magical and illusion stuff they have there. Some of it is mind-boggling! We spent hours roaming around being gob-smacked. I'd really recommend this place to anyone who's visiting Edinburgh. After that we were pretty tired so we walked back to the hotel and had dinner there. The staff even put a little birthday candle in Lynsey's creme brulee whilst we sang happy birthday, which was very sweet! All in all it was one of the best days ever!!!!

We had great fun the next day too, walking into town and visiting the Museum of Childhood. This has to be one of the scariest places I have ever been in my whole life – there is a room full of spooky dolls!!! I don't think I'd stay in there overnight for a million quid! It's a fascinating place, though, full of toys that have been long forgotten in this age of computer games and the like. After that we did a bit of shopping – the girls looking for souvenirs and me and Jamie looking for Magic cards and Battlestar Galactica T-shirts (yes, I know, we're geeks). Then we spent hours trying to find somewhere to eat before ending up in Bella Italia. Then it was time for bed!

To make the most of our final day I hadn't booked the train until 3, so we dropped off our luggage at the station and headed for the Walter Scott monument. I think it's so awesome that this immense and imposing tower was built in honour of a writer – I mean how cool is that?! I hope I have one of these made in my honour after I die :-) There are around 270 steps to the top, and they get steeper and narrower as you climb. By the time you reach the highest of several balconies your head is spinning from the circular climb, which means you're towering over the city below and the world is literally circling you. All in all not a great design... Lyns backed out on the penultimate level, but the rest of us made it to the top. I have to say it was absolutely terrifying, but great fun at the same time! After we'd clambered down and kissed solid ground we went for a cuppa in the National Gallery, then it was time for the train :-(

I wish we'd had longer to spend in Edinburgh, but even though we only had a few days it was one of the best holidays I've ever had, and one of the best shows I've ever done! See you next year, Edinburgh!

Back to School :-@

2009-09-05T04:18:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the last weekend before dratted school stars again! To try and get the most out of summer (I can't believe how fast it's flown by, seven weeks in the blink of an eye, that's scary!) we headed out to the beach yesterday. It was late by the time we left, and it was raining, but that shouldn't stop you enjoying the seaside! We went to Cromer because we all fancied fish and chips, and to be honest Mary Jane's Fish and Chips are the best in the world. We gobbled up our fish suppers in the restaurant because it was so miserable outside, then headed for the arcades to play basketball, guitar hero and the quiz machine. Great fun!

What was great about it, though, is that Lyns brought a pack of cards with her. Now, we quite often play cards when we're eating out, usually Old Maid because it's so easy to play. But when we were eating our fish and chips Lyns suggested playing Cheat. I haven't played that since I was at school, and I'd forgotten how addictive it is! For those who have never played, the pack (minus Jokers) is dealt out evenly to each player. Players must lay cards face down on the table in a certain order: they have to lay a card which is the same, one higher, or one lower than the card that has just been played. For instance if the first player lays two sixes, the second player must lay fives, sixes or sevens. If they lay a seven, the next player must lay sixes, sevens or eights. The great thing about the game, though, is that because the cards are laid face down, you can cheat if you want to. So if you don't have any sixes, sevens or eights then you can lay a queen and say it's a six. It's all about bluffing, and trying to work out who's telling the truth and who's cheating. If you don't believe someone then call 'Cheat' and their last card is checked. If they were cheating, then they get the whole pile, if they weren't, then you do. The winner is the first person to get rid of all their cards!

It's a fantastic game, and the best thing was that when we got back to the house nobody wanted to watch TV or movies, nobody wanted to play computer games or go on Facebook. Everybody, especially Jamie and Lucy, just wanted to play Cheat. And the same thing today! It's so wonderfully refreshing! If you've got kids who won't tear their eyeballs away from the screen, get out the cards and give Cheat a go – but maybe check the rules as my instructions aren't great!

I also read out the finished Bogey Brothers as a bedtime story and it went down very well, which is a good sign!

Anyway, enjoy the last weekend of the holiday!!!!!!!

Furnace US Trailer!

2009-09-04T04:53:00.001-07:00

Thanks to my lovely friend, Jennifer Oey, I now have a snazzy US version of the Lockdown: Escape From Furnace trailer.

Check out on the official MacMillan webpage and the Lockdown YouTube site, and if you're on Facebook become a friend of Lockdown here! Go on, you know you want to! These are all works in progress at the moment, and there will be an official Lockdown site coming soon. But check them out anyway as they're all cool!

Another Member of the Furnace Family has Arrived!!!!

2009-09-04T04:12:00.001-07:00

Everybody, I'd like to introduce you to FURNACE: DEATH SENTENCE!!!!! It arrived yesterday afternoon, and is a 0.5lb bundle of joy! Well, okay, it's not exactly a bundle of joy, it's a terrifying roller-coaster ride of excitement and horror as Alex and his friends make one last bid to escape from the nightmare that is Furnace Penitentiary. But it's still a very welcome addition to the Furnace family and we welcome it with open arms!

Look how cool it looks with its brothers and sisters!!!

Kissy kissy, I love you little books!

Ahem, sorry. I heard that this book was out last week when a couple of people, including Liz from MyFavouriteBooks, contacted me to let me know they had received it. I was in Edinburgh at the time, and was incredibly miffed that Faber hadn't sent me a copy! But after a little prod they popped one in the post. I am so thrilled to see it. Somehow having three books in the series now makes it so much more exciting – The Inventors was a two-book series, which is so 2007 / 2008 :-)

I LOVE the design of this one. I think white was a risky colour to go for but it works. If anything it reminds me of bloodstained hospital bedsheets which, as anybody can see from the other elements of the cover, is actually perfectly fitting. Gruesome! And I was also very relieved to see that the picture Amazon have been showing on their website for the last few months was NOT actually the finished cover of the book. For those who haven't seen the Amazon cover, it appears to have what looks like a character from the sci-fi flick The Fly in the bottom left-hand corner. Why? I'm not 100% sure. But I was very relieved to see that this particular character had buzzed off of the final version.

It feels great to have five books out now, it all seems to have happened so quickly. Thanks again so much to everybody involved in the publishing and marketing of Furnace, you've all done an absolutely wonderful job! Now, on with Book 4!

A Surprise New Book!

2009-09-03T04:45:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago I started writing something new. It started off as a joke, and was exceptionally silly, but then the idea took shape and I realised the project had legs, albeit very bendy legs that struggled to walk in a straight line. Anyway, I've just finished the first draft of the new book which, at 15,000 words, is probably a tad long. I'll let it sleep for a day or two then go through it. It's totally different to anything I've written before, but it's great fun and it might just end up going somewhere! For anyone interested, the book is actually written by The Bogey Brothers – which is me and my little brother Jamie (who co-wrote The Inventors). He came up with the main jist of the story. But the great thing about this book is not the story itself, but the way it is told. Maybe I'll post the first couple of chapters up here sometime soon and you can let me know what you think!

That's two books written this year, although they have both been very short. Oh, and a picture book too. One more to go to meet my annual target!

Holiday!

2009-08-25T05:15:00.000-07:00

I've been working pretty hard of late (not like coal miner or teacher or nurse hard, but pretty hard by my standards) so I gave myself a few days off this week. I'm not a great one for holidays. I like them and all, I just never seem to have one (unless, like Lynsey always says, you include the non-stop holiday that is my life...). That's one of the problems of working for yourself – it's much harder to book a few days off because there always seems to be things to do. Work is like water, it flows out and fills up every available inch of space. Not that I'm complaining! But it is sometimes nice just to say "right, that's it, I'm having a couple of days to myself and I'm not going to do any work or check emails or anything". So that's what I did!

Not that I did anything immensely exciting. Although some of the highlights were:

A weekend of Kung Fu seminars that Jamie and I took, which were so much fun. We learned how to do Kung Fu board breaking, which was awesome (except when I tried to punch a watermelon and slipped off and punched the floor – there is a video of that which I'll try and post here one day) and joint locks, which was cool, and even how to defend ourselves from a knife attack using nothing more than a newspaper (which was fantastic, except when I tried to break a board with my newspaper and hit it with my hand instead, the same hand – I really need to work on my aim)! There was also a school BBQ which the four of us went to. It was great to meet the other students – because we have private lessons we only really see them in passing. Everybody is so lovely, it's like one great big family!

Lots of trips to the beach. We popped out to Waxham after the Kung Fu seminars. It's just the most gorgeous beach ever – miles of golden sand and warm (well, warm for England) water. The sun was blazing and we went swimming (with the seals) and played catch with the American football. So much fun! A few days later the weather was still great so we decided to go to the beach again. Lyns didn't want to go back to Waxham and I did, but in the end we went to Sea Palling (with Mum and Christopher and Matthew too) which is just down the coast and equally lovely. However, we'd only been there an hour or so before police flooded the beach and started telling us to evacuate. I thought it was a terrorist attack – in Sea Palling!!! We grabbed our stuff and vacated, only to see a bomb disposal van. It turned out that an old WWII shell had been uncovered on the beach and we all could have been blown to smithereens! It was a pain, but it was worth it for the fact that Lyns learned I am always right and should be obeyed at all times :-) We drove to Yarmouth instead and sat on the beach there for a while.

That hole would have been impressive if Jamie and Lucy dug it, but it was there when we got there! Jamie's er, new assets, however, were our doing :-)

I think this was actually taken at Wells a couple of weeks ago, but it's pretty cool!

Apart from that, and lots of Battlestar Galactica (the new series is soooooooooo good, I'll blog about it elsewhere), the week just involved hanging out with friends and having fun. I even bought a new bench for my garden and had a BBQ to celebrate:

Anyway, I'd better go get my stuff ready for Edinburgh!

The Book Smugglers

2009-08-20T04:37:00.000-07:00

For anybody who wants an insight into what went into writing Furnace then head over to the excellent Book Smugglers blog. It's run by Ana, one of the lovely people I met at the Guillermo Del Torro signing, and is an utterly fantastic place to visit for book reviews and giveaways. Ana recently reviewed Furnace (extremely positively, thanks!) and asked me if I wanted to do a guest post. I started to write something for her, and that something became a very personal insight into a difficult period in my past which ultimately led to the creation of Alex Sawyer, the hero (antihero?) of the Furnace books. There's also a chance to win Furnace goodies!

Anyway, check it out for yourself!

And thanks, Ana, for the chance to bare my soul!

Win Books!

2009-08-18T02:45:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to say that if anyone would like to win copies of Furnace 1 and 2, and The Inventors 1 and 2, plus related goodies, then head on over to the wonderful Tall Tales and Short Stories blog – there are loads of copies to be won! Good luck!

Interview!

2009-08-14T04:33:00.000-07:00

The wonderful Cristy Burne, author of the upcoming Takeshita Demons series (which looks truly brilliant) has taken time out from being a writer and a new mum to interview me on her blog. Take a look here!

Livin' it up with the Librarians

2009-08-14T03:48:00.000-07:00

I was late out of bed this morning, but I had a good excuse. Yesterday I was in Oxford for a Reading Agency Roadshow! Because of strikes on the trains (now, I just want to say that I have no problem at all with people striking if they want better pay and conditions, sometimes there's no other way to get what you want and deserve, but the trains in Norwich are so bloody awful anyway that I did think a strike on top of everything else was a bit much!) I had to get up at 5.00 – yes, there is such a time in the morning, apparently – which meant I had a full four hours sleep. However, I did manage to snatch a bit of kip on the train, which was cool. A taxi across London and another train got me to Oxford, where I met up with the fantastic Alex Milway, author of the Mousehunter books and another series due next year which looks awesome! We set off in search of the Oxford University Press offices.

Wow. The OUP offices are incredible – they look more like the British Museum than a publishing house. There's even a gym inside! But we weren't there to work out (thank god), so we hung out in reception and waited for the event to start. There were loads more authors there, including the lovely M. G. Harris, who I met before at the Guillermo del Toro signing in London, plus Ali Sparkes, who is wonderful (and who signed a book for me as "To Gordon, Oh great writer of epic poems" after something I wrote for Trapped By Monsters). We all grabbed a bit of lunch and then spent the afternoon mingling with an entire room full of librarians! It was great fun – librarians are always so cool to talk to, they're always so passionate about books, and it was brilliant being able to chat to them, even if the 'speed dating' format meant that you only had 10 minutes to talk to each group! Hopefully I'll be visiting a few of their libraries in the near future to talk about writing and Furnace.

After we'd spoken to everyone (and I'd bagged as many free books as I could carry) Al and I, plus Laura and Susan from Faber, went to Cafe Rouge for a well-earned pint and some fancy food. It was a wonderfully relaxing meal, which came to an abrupt conclusion when Al suggested we try and make the next train. This would have been all well and good except in order to do so we had to run for it. Yes, I did say RUN. I'm not kidding when I say I almost died! Al was good enough to take my bag of books, but even so I could only waddle for a few paces at a time for fear of either having a heart attack or being clobbered in the head by my own pendulous man boobs. I persevered, though, and we actually made the train with about 30 seconds to go!!! So thanks, Al, for getting me home!

It was a long old day – over 12 hours on the go for 3 hours of actual talking – but well worth the trip. It's always great to hang out with Al as we have a good chat about publishing and writing. Besides, I got the chance to read some more of Ramsey Campbell's The Grin of the Dark on the train, which is one of the most terrifying books I have ever read. I'll blog about it when I've finished!

So, probably back to work today. I say probably because I'm not sure I can be bothered... I might just read instead.

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

2009-08-09T03:21:00.000-07:00

I just have to tell you all about the amazing sandcastle that we built on Wells beach on Saturday! Jamie and I popped out to meet Lyns and Lucy, and Lucy's great aunt and uncle, for the Wells carnival. Mum came too, which was lovely. After watching the floats and eating several buckets worth of ice cream we wandered up the coastal path to the beach and set about creating a masterful kingdom of sand.

I love building sandcastles – it's the same Imperial part of me that loves to build my own country in Civilisation and my own city in Sim City – it's just so much fun. And I have to say that the sand at Wells is absolutely perfect for it – it's very damp and oily, which means it holds together extremely well. We bought a giant bucket and a spade and got started on a moat, adding several turrets and a gradually ascending walkway to get to the main keep. And below is the finished result (viewed from the back, that giant mound holds the main keep, the vertiginous walls too steep for any invading army, and that wooden walkway is raisable)!

This is the view from the front (with Lucy to give a sense of scale):

Here you get a better idea of the various defences. You have to enter over a narrow bridge, guarded by a 'W' formation of towers. Invaders would have to pass into an open courtyard, leaving them exposed to attack, and would need to make their way towards the middle point of the 'W'. The only way onto the path is by passing through this tower, and anyone who does has to make their way up a steep, winding path to get to yet another tower (the upper right point of the 'W'), then through that and up another open, narrow path to reach the keep (the uppermost tower). By this point they'd have all been picked off! So all in all a pretty damn awesome construction – Peter jackson and the Lord of the Rings crew eat your heart out! The towers each represented one of the elements, with special flags, and there was a magical tree in the centre of the courtyard thanks to mum. The sand was even so wet that the moat held water for a few minutes, how cool is that!!

Here's one last picture of the architects:

Anyway, I should probably do some work now...

James Patterson!!!

2009-08-05T08:37:00.001-07:00

Wes, my editor in the US, has just emailed me to let me know that James Patterson – quite possibly one of the best-selling writers in all of history – has read Furnace Lockdown (well, the US version, so Lockdown: Escape From Furnace) and loved it! Loved it enough, in fact, to give us this quote to use:

"Fresh and ferocious, Lockdown will hook boys with its gritty, unrelenting surprises." --James Patterson

How cool is that?! I've read a couple of Patterson's Alex Cross novels for adults and they've been tense, gripping reads (I love the films too), so it's a real honour to know that he's read my book and liked it. Thanks James! With any luck it will help me sell a fraction of the 150 million books that he has sold to date!

Another Awesome Review!

2009-08-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

When I went down to London to meet Guillermo Del Toro I met a few people who I'd been talking to on Twitter, including the lovely Ana from The Book Smugglers. Well she was good enough to read Furnace and post a wonderful review of it on her blog! Check it out here (and have a browse of the site, it's got some really fantastic stuff on it)!

Thanks Ana!

In other news I've spent today working on the new book. This one has really grabbed me and I'm enjoying just rolling with it. I still have no idea where it's heading, but it seems to be taking a shape of its own. It's funny, when you start writing a book you really have no idea what sort of tone it's going to have, and this one is growing darker with every chapter. In fact there was a point where I wondered if it was actually going to be an adult horror book as some of the scenes were so horrible. But I think it's still best suited for an older teen audience. It could have quite easily turned into a book for 8-12s, but it wants to be something scarier and more violent, and who am I to say no to a story?! I'm 14,000 words in, I'll keep you posted on how it develops!

I haven't been sitting on my butt all day, though. For a bit of a change of scene Jamie, Lucy and I popped up to the UEA for a game of badminton and a healthy dinner, which was nice! We weren't keeping score, but I'm pretty sure I won...

Some Fab Reviews!!

2009-08-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was Googling Furnace today (yes, again!) and found some reviews that I don't think I've seen before. They were written by some teachers in Australia, which is amazing! It's so great to get their approval! Anyway, I have posted them below in case anybody is interested!

Thanks everyone!

Furnace: Lockdown by Alexander Gordon Smith (MINOR SPOILERS)

The start of this novel is gripping. More importantly, any teen male reader will just want to turn the pages as quickly as possible. A prison that is chiselled out of a huge underground cavern is an amazing setting for the incarceration of teen male offenders. The twist arrives early in the novel when it becomes apparent that prison officials head out into communities and set up potential inmates. The chapter delineations also add to the tension that the author intertwines into the plot. The temptation is to read just one more chapter. Prison life is described with great detail and with multi sensory language that engages the reader. The use of guards and their wolverine type assistants spread a fear through the ‘Furnace’. There is no escape and the inmates recognise this hopeless state. During evening lockdown, the Warden of the Furnace sends out a group of creatures called ‘wheezers’. These beings visit the cells of the teen prisoners and mark the cell bars with a large cross. The significance of this action is not only literally terrifying for the characters in the story but also for the reader. There is graphic description of the aftermath of being selected by these beings and the unfortunate cell dwellers become transformed in what appears to be secret experimentation on human teenage bodies. As in all large gatherings of people, smaller social groups develop. As expected, some of the inmates tend towards dominating as many others as possible. Alex and his small group attempt to break this standover group with violent consequences. The underground cavernous prison does have a geological flaw which is discovered by the main character Alex. Seeking the help of his cell mate Donovan, a plan of action is developed to attempt an escape. But no one escapes from Furnace! The plan becomes known to two other inmates and one of them is Kevin, the leader of the standover gang. This puts a higher risk of failure to the group but they persist. Some action packed events then occur which makes the reader feel as if there is some justice at times, no matter how small. The final chapter provides an insight into the emotional desperation of Alex and friend Zee, as they make their way to an improbable escape from Furnace. Not all of the group attempt the final step and the torment of Donovan being taken from his cell the evening prior to the escape haunts Alex. If caught, death from the Furnace authorities would result. There was only one chance for freedom and Alex took it. However, success is not guaranteed.
Trevor Dangerfield, Elisabeth Murdoch College, Vic

Set in the future, in a time of zero tolerance of youth crime, following the Summer of Slaughter, Furnace: Lockdown transports us to a sinister penitentiary, the toughest maximum security prison in the world, named after its builder, Alfred Furnace. At some twenty six floors deep into the bowels of the Earth, it is a place of violence and evil, with giant guards in black business suits, mutant dogs to chew up inmates, ‘wheezers’, with filthy coats, ancient metal gas masks stitched permanently into their skin, and carrying syringes of contaminated blood and

disease, and cruel Warden Cross, ‘patched together from darkness and filth’, with ‘eyes like vortexes to suck you in’. Furnace is a place of monsters and murderous hatred, unending terror and humiliation, where food is a pulverised rotting mush, tempers are frayed and inmates endure ‘exhausted bodies and fear-stricken minds’. ‘You’re dead. You just don’t know it yet’, the reality, as inmates’ endless days of mind games and bloodlust, rotting in the guts of the Earth, desensitise and dehumanise. Into this inhuman, unpredictable living Hell comes teenager, Alex Sawyer. With a two year history of bullying school kids for money, and of burglary, his conscience buried as “King of the World”, Alex is framed for the murder of his best friend, Toby. As ‘fresh meat’, placed in a cell with Carl Donovan, Alex quickly learns about sirens, The Skulls, work as a ‘chipper’, ‘trough time’, the ‘blood watch’ and The Hole, with other ‘new fish’, Zee and Jimmy sharing his plight. Escape appears implausible and impossible, but Alex tries to keep the idea of freedom alive. As the story reaches its powerful climax, Donovan is taken away on the ‘blood watch’ and Alex may have found a way to break the power of

Furnace. ‘Death is behind him, death is ahead’; what hope? I am eagerly awaiting the sequel, Furnace: Solitary, due for release in September 2009. Though confronting and possibly disturbing for some, Furnace: Lockdown is an amazing, highly imaginative futuristic fantasy. As an action-packed, adrenaline-charged, page-turning novel which will definitely engage readers aged 14-18, particularly males, I was hooked too. The grim, taut prose, with its horror-filled, fast-paced action and realistically chilling descriptions, brilliantly evokes the escalating tension and suspense and the terrifying, sickening brutality of this debasing, disgusting, almost demonic death camp. Furnace: Lockdown is recommended for inclusion in the secondary school library collection, for individual borrowing across all year levels, with an awareness of the extremely graphic and brutal nature of the story and its ‘eternity of hopelessness and misery’. Though a matter for individual school decision, with this in mind, for study as a shared class reader within English or Social Science classrooms, the book does have a lot to offer and, on a positive note, Alex does not give up hope. It is an excellent, cleverly crafted, thought-provoking discussion starter, presenting issues of justice, violence, punishment, power, survival and inner strength. Interesting to consider Alex was the school bully and extortionist, yet he comes to the defence of Monty when he is being bullied, it being the unwritten rule not to help, because ‘the place needs scapegoats’. Also for discussion, Alex’s family and social / cultural background pre-empting his life of crime, along with a range of creative writing
extension activities the book offers. The hint of a river running deep under Furnace, as a possible escape route, is also symbolic and a clever parallel. For Alex, having enjoyed Greek myths and legends at school, he must now get back over from the other side of his own River Styx to escape his Hell. Alexander Gordon Smith has indeed penned a riveting, sure-fire winner.
Alison Cassell, Qld

Hold your breath. Hold tight. This is a journey of fear and trepidation, of horrors no one would want to imagine. Worse than your worst nightmare. Imagine you were “actually in hell” for one of the crimes you didn’t actually commit. Well welcome to Furnace, welcome to a living hell. Thoughts of escape will be the only thing to keep you alive and wanting to go on. No sky, no daylight. Forget the niceties of The Great Escape. This is not a heroic tale. It is a story of survival. Every page unravels new fearful images - the wheezers with their faces removed. The fellow prisoners who might get to you first. Childhood is a thing of the past. You are taken through the terrifying journey of Alex and he needs to get out! This novel is not one I could say I enjoyed, but one that grabs you by the throat and leaves you with an insignificant level of hope. It is a novel I think may leave younger readers a little unnerved and therefore it really is aimed at 14 +. Boys would find it interesting as it takes them into a futuristic prison world for Juveniles. It deals with the moral issues about incarceration and how we punish crimes. It also examines the concept of innocence and how they are abandoned by the legal system. There is no justice, yet the legal system is expected to do something about juvenile crime. These not-so-innocents are the scapegoats. This novel would work well with a unit on “Conflict” but be warned, it does contain violent actions that may shock so be aware of your audience. Extracts from this could also be used with more academic students due to its appropriated references to Dante’s Inferno. This novel would entice boys to read and teach them a moral lesson along the way. Some may not like the uncertainty of the ending but there is a sequel!

Regina Forrester, NSW

When I began reading Furnace: Lockdown I was merely an adult reviewing some teenage fiction. I did not expect to find it particularly stimulating to the adult mind but I was pleasantly surprised! I now find myself quite a fan of Mr. Alexander Gordon Smith.
Lockdown is a thrilling read! It drew me in with its excellent writing, vivid descriptions and chilling mysteries. It is not however, a book for the faint hearted. The premise is ghastly, throwing a 13 year old boy into a violent, hell-like hole in the ground that is the Furnace Prison. If it were ever made into a film it would need a rather heavy rating for violence and horror if the filmmakers were to do the writing justice. Characters include writhing, demonic dogs, creepy sub-human guards and the terrifying Wheezers with their syringes “full of blackness and death”. Lockdown however also has emotional depth. I found myself laughing at the lighter moments, particularly the witty repartee between our hero Alex and his cohorts. The book is also not afraid to be tender. As a mother of boys the same age as Alex, I found myself invested in his emotional roller coaster, feeling proud of his wins, devastated by his setbacks and also a little sad as the hardness of The Furnace begins to have it’s way with him.
In a classroom setting, the topic of justice is opened up widely by this novel. When is it right to do what is usually wrong? How does injustice affect people in the short and the long term? Alex’s reflections of his earlier life and the decisions he made that led to his life of crime could promote excellent conversations amongst students. I am really looking forward to reading the next instalment in the Furnace trilogy purely for my own enjoyment! I cannot wait for more of the deeper, darker secrets of this horrific yet fascinating place to be revealed.
Jodie Sheppard, Mountain District Christian School, Vic

Har Har Me Mateys!

2009-08-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems to have been working really hard the last few weeks, so on Saturday we decided to give ourselves a break and head out to Yarmouth for the day. Once there, windswept and sunburned on the beautiful beach, we played hide and seek on the dunes. Well, they're not really dunes, more lumpy bits in the beach, but there were enough contours and sea grass tufts to hide us (even my belly remained hidden from view, which is really saying something). Jamie, being a grumpy thirteen-year-old, didn't want to come at first, and we practically had to drag him away from his dank pit of a bedroom. But once he was there, running about and diving into the sand like some kind of hyperactive beach monkey, he absolutely loved it.

An hour or so later, and with enough sand in our ears and underpants to supply a glass factory for a year, we headed up the seafront and grabbed burgers / hot dogs / bacon butties, plus eight donuts. God I love beach food! We were going to have traditional fish and chips, but being optimistic I suggested we had burgers for lunch then fish and chips for tea! Next we popped into the pirate crazy golf course for a quick game before the rain came down. Lyns had never played before (which explains a lot), but then neither had Lucy and she was ace. I, of course, scored a hole in one on the third hole. Go me! Here are the hang being all piratey and golfy:

I had to leave early to run and get the car before it was clamped, and we all got a bit damp in a sudden summer storm. But it really was a lovely day, and so nice to do something that didn't involve sitting in front of a computer for twenty hours a day! In the end we didn't stop for fish and chips, but I made up for it later by sneaking out and having a pie and chips at the chippy round the corner! Sunday was a DIY day – sanding the hall floor (which is the worst job in history) and trimming the hedge (which wasn't too bad). Unfortunately it's back to my desk now, at least until Kung Fu this evening!

Interview and Review!

2009-08-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

There's a fab interview with me up on the wonderful Tall Tales and Short Stories Blog. There have been some amazingly interesting interviews up on this blog recently, thanks to Tracy, and it's great to have the chance to appear here!

Check it out here!

Also I forgot to mention the review of Solitary that appeared in The Independent on Sunday:

"The boys in Alexander Gordon Smith's relentlessly horrific and violent Furnace: Solitary (Faber, £6.99) are running, too, this time from a futuristic, nightmarish underground prison first described in Furnace: Lockdown. It's hideously claustrophobic as they try to escape from the "wheezers" and the very real threat of being surgically rebuilt into freaks. It ends on a cliff-hanger. Teenage readers will have to wait until October for Furnace: Death Sentence, the third part of the trilogy" Susan Elkin Independent on Sunday

I'm extremely chuffed with the review, although I'm not sure which makes a better a pull-quote: "relentlessly horrific and violent" or "hideously claustrophobic"!

Inspired!

2009-08-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

Feeling very inspired after the Darren Shan news, I finally got round to finishing a book that I've been working on for a while now. It's a series for younger readers, tentatively called The Ghoultown Gazette. It's a horror comedy series, and the first book is called Attack of the Shadow Demons. I haven't really written for this age group before so I'm not sure if the book works, but I've sent it off to my agent Sophie and have my fingers and toes firmly crossed! I also sent off a picture book that I've been writing, which is just a bit of fun, really, but quite sweet! I'll let you know if anything happens!

I've also started work on a new story, for teens again. The idea just hit me last week and I rolled with it. I'm not really sure where it's going, yet, but I'm really keen on the story and the two main characters, Caleb and Amaya. It's horror, of course, and I think it's going to get quite gory. But that's the way I like it!!! The first chapter has Caleb biting a dog on the nose!!

It feels good to be getting a bit of momentum with the writing again, it's been such a busy year of shows and editing that I'm way behind when it comes to producing new stuff!

Praise from my Hero!

2009-07-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

I've had some amazing news this week!!!!! Darren Shan – the one and only amazing writer Darren Shan – read Furnace: Lockdown and loved it!!! I couldn't believe my eyes when I checked out his blog (which I do most days, he updates it all the time and it's always full of really great advice for writers – check it out here) and actually saw my book mentioned! I actually did a double take, then had to pinch myself to see if I was awake. Seeing that he was reading Furnace is actually the most excited I've been since I heard the book was going to be published, and I'm not just saying that! This is what he said on his first Furnace post:

Took it easy on Saturday, just sat around, read a bit, watched a couple of films, surfed the web a while. I'm reading Furnace: Lockdown at the moment, by Alexander Gordon Smith. I'm enjoying it so far, which I'm pleased about, because Alex is a Shanster of many years standing!!! Assuming I like the second half as much as the first, I plan to give him a quote for the book, to hopefully be used in the American edition when it comes out. The book is already on sale in the UK, so check it out if you haven't already!!

SO AWESOME! But it gets better! The next day he wrote:

I read a bit more of Furnace: Lockdown last night, and was tickled pink to see myself namechecked in the book -- the characters are discussing movies at one point, and make mention of the seeing the third Darren Shan movie!! I'm hoping Master Smith has strange powers of insight into the future and that this prediction of his will be a reality in a few years time -- I'm quids-in if they make movie sequels!!!!!! It was a good job I posted that blog before spotting my own name in the book, or people might have accused me of being vain and only mentioning it because of my mention!!! I'm hoping to finish it off later tonight, and will report on it here once done.

I added his name to the book because his Darren Shan books were a HUGE influence on me when I started writing Furnace. The Furnace books just wouldn't be the same if I hadn't have been inspired by Darren, they may not even have existed! Finally Darren wrote a review on his blog:

Thumbs up for Furnace!!
Finished reading the first Furnace book by Alexander Gordon Smith. Top-notch stuff!! VERY dark, fast-paced, action-packed, with a cliffhanger to die for!!! It reads very smoothly, which is one of the highest compliments I can pay a book. I know that many people think that the mark of a great book is the complexity of the language, that if you don't have to struggle to read it, it can never be anything other than average. I think that's elitism gone mad!! The very best authors -- Shakespeare, Dickens, Tolstoy -- always wrote in a way which was accessible to the people of their time. They were crowd-pleasers who knew how to keep their audience entertained, even while exploring all sorts of dark, complex areas and themes. It's extremely difficult to get a story to "flow", to create a true page-turner that will drag readers along without them even being aware of how much they're reading in any given stretch. As I've often said on this blog, I spend between 2 and 3 years working on any individual book, trimming it down, fine-tuning it, trying to get it to move from A to B to C as swiftly and effortlessly as possible. At the end of the day, I'm sure some people sniff at what I've created and dismiss it for being such an easy read, mistaking the ease of the read for the ease of creation. But there's nothing easy about what I do!!! The art of good writing is to MAKE it look easy! That's what Gordon has done here, the same thing that Anthony Horowitz does so well -- he put in a lot of hard work to create a swift, exciting ride of a story. I highly recommend it!!!

WOW!!!! And he compares me to Anthony Horowitz as well, who is another hero of mine!

And then, as if all this wasn't exciting enough, he sent an email with a quote that we can use for the books:

Furnace is hotter than hell and twice as much fun! Sign me up for a life sentence of Alexander Gordon Smith!

At this point I had to sit down because I thought I might collapse! I am so thrilled that one of the writers who I have admired for so long (ten years now), and whose books I absolutely love, took the time to read my book, and actually liked it! Thanks SO MUCH Darren for all the enthusiasm and support, you've made me the happiest writer EVER!

Solitary Review

2009-07-09T08:20:00.001-07:00

Laura at Faber has just sent me this review of Solitary from Bookbag. It's the first review I've seen for it, and I was a bit nervous about how the book would be received, but this review has certainly put me at ease! Thanks!

WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T READ THE FIRST BOOK

In this second instalment of Smith's Furnace series Alex Sawyer and his companions continue their bid for freedom, desperate to escape the hell on Earth that is Furnace Penitentiary.

Filled with hope, Alex and his cohorts battle their way through the underbelly of Furnace, convinced that they have found the way out, the path to the daylight they never thought they'd see again. But Furnace isn't done with them yet and their hopes come crashing down as they are recaptured and put into solitary confinement, deep below the ground and at the mercy of the Blacksuits, the Wheezers and the warden.

Alex soon discovers that there are other things down in solitary confinement that are far scarier than anything he's ever come across before and he knows that if he doesn't find a way to escape quickly he'll go mad, or worse. Divided by his need to escape and his sense of loyalty to his companions, Alex's struggle continues as he is forced to restart his bid for freedom even further away from the surface than before.

Smith's writing style instantly grabs you by the throat and drags you into the alternate reality where Furnace Prison exists. His well crafted writing keeps your attention and relentlessly drags you through the story regardless of whether or not you are familiar with Furnace: Lockdown, the first part of Alex Sawyer's adventures.

Fast paced and punchy, Smith barely gives you time to breathe between the action sequences of the book from the moment it begins to the moment it ends. Even when you are alone with Alex in his tiny, pitch black cell, Smith refuses to let you relax and his urgent narrative keeps your mind racing, trying to figure out Alex's next move before he does it.

The characters in Furnace: Solitary are as intriguing as the prison itself and the journey through Furnace is enhanced spectacularly by the teetering friendships formed between them as their sanity is stretched and tested in ways they'd never dared to imagine, not even in their darkest nightmares.

Personally, I found the non-stop pace tiring and by the time I was nearing the end of the novel I was almost wishing for a moment or two of calm because the constant tension seemed to become a little stale as it went on. This doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy it, just that reading it became a bit like hard work in parts. Towards the end there were moments of sheer brilliance, Alex's character developing brilliantly in a way that made the whole situation feel much more horrific than it already did. It certainly made me think about some of the darker nuances of human nature and highlights many of mankind's flaws that we so often overlook.

Despite my issues with the pacing, I imagine that if I were fourteen and male I'd have lapped up every word and reached the end desperate for more. Well written, gripping and bursting with excellent characters I'd give Furnace: Solitary three and a half stars and recommend it to anyone who wants a blood-thirsty, mind-twisting romp set in a world hauntingly similar to our own.

I'd like to thank the publishers for sending a copy to The Bookbag.

It's been so long!!!

2009-07-09T04:27:00.000-07:00

First, I'd just like to apologise for not writing for so long. It's been ages! The main reason for this is editing (yes, more editing, more of that truly wonderful, engaging, creative process that is editing, and no, I'm not being sarcastic at all, not one tiny little bit, there isn't one iota of sarcasm in my entire body). But the final edit of Furnace 3 is now done and dusted (er... again...) and off to the printers, which is amazing!

So this is just a brief catch-up blog – I'll write about everything in more detail over the upcoming few days!

Furnace Solitary
There's been some very exciting news lately. To start with, last Thursday saw the launch of Furnace: Solitary, the second book in the Furnace series, which is soooooo cool! And because it was such an important day, Faber threw a huge party to celebrate it – everybody from the company was there, and loads of agents and writers and other publisher, and even some celebrities, and it was all hosted in a wonderful leafy garden in the middle of London. I was so thrilled and... what's that? It was actually the Faber and Faber 80th Birthday Party? So it had nothing to do with my book then? Oh... Well... Um, that's a bit embarrassing. I thought I was getting some funny looks when I climbed onto the table and thanked everybody for coming...

But seriously, it was a wonderful night, and so good to be able to celebrate the Furnace series with everybody who has made it possible, including Julia, Emily and the rest of the team from Faber, and of course my wonderful agent Sophie. Thanks guys!

I've also got three copies of Solitary to give away to the first three people to comment below!

The Booktrust Teenage Prize
But even more amazing than the launch of Solitary is the fact that Furnace: Lockdown has been longlisted for the Booktust Teenage Prize, which is one of the best awards for children's books in the country! I can't tell you how utterly thrilled I am to be on the list, and to be longlisted along with some of my favourite authors! The list is as follows:

Auslander by Paul Dowswell (Bloomsbury)

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (Bloomsbury)

Tales of Terror from the Black Ship by Chris Priestley (Bloomsbury)

Numbers by Rachel Ward (Chicken House)

Ostrich Boys by Keith Gray (Definitions)

Furnace: Lockdown by Alexander Gordon Smith (Faber) Woo Hoo!

Three Ways to Snog an Alien by Graham Joyce (Faber)

The Ant Colony by Jenny Valentine (HarperCollins)

Bloodchild by Tim Bowler (Oxford University Press)

The Vanishing of Katharina Linden by Helen Grant (Puffin)

Solitaire by Bernard Ashley (Usborne)

The Ask and the Answer by Patrick Ness (Walker)

Exposure by Mal Peet (Walker)

The great thing about this longlist is that it's actually quite a short list, although the shortlist itself, announced in September, will be six books long. I'll keep my fingers crossed that I make it, but there are so many wonderful books here that I won't be holding my breath! And being there on the longlist is so awesome in its own right. Thanks to everyone at Booktrust!

Events
I've done a few events over the last couple of weeks, and they were all brilliant fun! The first was at the Sutton Central Library, and was something I've never done before - a T-shirt-making evening! It was actually the idea of Rachel Levy, who is running a series of evening events for teenagers at the library, and what a fantastic idea it was! I started off doing a talk, as usual, then we all sat down with orange prison-style T-shirts and fabric paint and stencils and made up our own Furnace-style uniforms. I had already made up my 'Skulls Rule' T-shirt, but I was so impressed with everybody else's - especially the girls who combined Mario Kart with Furnace to make up some extremely weird but incredibly cool designs. Thanks to everybody for making it such a cool day, and thanks to Rachel too for organising it, and for taking me out for pizza afterwards! It was such a fun evening!

The next event was a little different too, as it was for grown-ups! Strangely enough it was also in Sutton, but this time at Heath Books, which is a huge bookstore designed for school librarians. And that's exactly who I was giving a talk to – 30 lovely librarians from schools around London. I had a wonderful time talking about Jamie and me, and The Inventors and Furnace, and writing and reading, and loads of other stuff too. Hopefully they all enjoyed it! Afterwards I chatted to them all over a HUGE buffet – complete with a whole fish, head and all, that looked big enough to be a shark! I'm going to visit a few of their schools in October during my Death Sentence book tour, and I'm really looking forward to it! Thanks to all the librarians, and to Jackie from Heath's for making me feel so welcome!

Last, but certainly not least, I got to do a very special show – special because it took place in MY OLD SCHOOL!!! I was invited in by the librarian, Leif Ahnland, who also runs the fantastic creative writing club. It was so cool being able to go back to my old school, the Hewett in Norwich. I was there for seven years, and it's really where I started writing properly, so to visit again to talk about my life as a writer, and my books, was just amazing! Although most of the teachers I had have now left, I did see some familiar faces, and the school itself looked the same as I remember it (although smaller).

I started off with a talk at lunchtime, and it was great to see so many people there – especially as it was a gloriously sunny day and they could have been outside playing! They were a really chatty, responsive and entertaining group, and many of them were writers, so I thoroughly enjoyed the session. Then, after school, I did a horror writing workshop with the creative writing club, which was a fascinating experience. The members were all ages – from year seven right through to upper sixth – and they were all positively bursting with ideas, which was so good to see. And they were so much fun to work with. I have absolutely no doubt that plenty of these students will have books published in the future - some are already better writers than I am! I'll look forward to getting signed copies of their books in years to come. You can check out their brilliant writing on the creative writing club's blog here. It's definitely worth checking out as they're putting together a fascinating anthology which is totally unique and looks like it might be a big deal!

It was a great day, made even better by the fact that I didn't have to travel across the country to get there and back - in fact it was a two-minute walk away! But a huge thanks to Leif and all the students for making it such fun, and the best of luck to you all with your writing! Here are some pics (and that's my 'Skulls Rule' T-shirt from Sutton):

I love that reaction to the Wheezer!

There aren't too many events planned for the next few weeks as I really, really, really have to do some writing! But I'm always open to invitations, and have a new events page on my website for anybody who is interested in booking me.

The Gang
I'm getting a bit blogged out now but I'll just give you a quick update on the other stuff we've been up to. I haven't seen much of Lynsey for the last few weeks because she's been furiously writing a story to make the deadline for the Bridport Competition. She won it before, a few years ago, and fingers crossed she'll win it again this year! It's great to see her writing again, anyway.

We have been doing lots of sporty stuff, however, mainly so that I can shift this bulbous jellyfish that seems to have settled around my midriff. Kung Fu is going very well - we all took our first grading a couple of weeks ago and now have an official white fringe on our sashes, which is awesome! As well as this we've all been playing badminton, which I thought was a slow sport that grannies played in the garden over summer, but which turns out to be lightning quick and extremely knackering! Hopefully with all this exercise I'll have a six-pack in no time, which is actually pretty important because I keep making bets with Jamie for stupid amounts of money that I'll have one soon. I already owe him a small fortune! But I'll definitely have one by Christmas... :-)

Anyway, that's all for now, I'm sure there's more news but I'll post again soon with another update!

WOW!!!

2009-06-20T02:29:00.001-07:00

Wes, my editor in the States, has just sent over the cover treatment for their edition of Furnace: Lockdown (Escape From Furnace: Lockdown over in the US). How cool is this!!! It's totally different to anything I was expecting, but it's utterly eye-catching and chilling and unique, and just brilliant. I love it!

Let me know what you think...

Anyway, loads been happening, I'll blog again soon!

My New Best Friend!

2009-06-07T03:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an amazing day, I got to meet the legendary Guillermo del Toro! He has been a huge inspiration for me, creating such darkly fantastic visions and telling such wonderful stories, and it was so exciting to actually meet him in person. He was signing books at Forbidden Planet, and despite the fact the queue was almost round the block he took his time with each person, shaking everybody's hand and talking to them. He was very impressed by my Flash Gordon T-shirt, telling me that the film had inspired some of his creations in Hellboy. So cool! I also managed to slip him a copy of my book, which I know was a little cheeky but I couldn't really pass up on an opportunity like that, could I? Maybe he'll read it on the plane home and think 'I'm going to make Furnace into a film!' You never know... Anyway, he is a wonderfully personable and friendly man, and I am convinced that he is now my best friend.

It was a really smashing day all round. I finally had the chance to meet up with some intermates who I'd met through blogs and Twitter, including the wonderful Liz and Mark, from My Favourite Books, the delightful M. G. Harris, author of The Joshua Files, three other lovely bloggers, Gavin from Next Read, Ana from Book Smugglers and Sharon from Dark Fiction Review, the charming Matt the Librarian, who I have met before at a Faber event, and the delightful Kaz Mahoney, a YA writer whose first novel is currently doing the rounds. They were a fascinating bunch of people to hang out with, all absolutely obsessed with books, which is brilliant! We all went for lunch at Wahaca, a Mexican place near Covent Garden, and just chatted about writing and publishing and the like. Truly awesome!

Here is everybody:

After that I headed up to the Royal Academy to see the Utagawa Kuniyoshi exhibition, which was just wonderful. His prints are spectacular, especially the ones full of ghosts and skeletons and demons and bloodshed. I was hoping to buy a couple of prints but they hardly had any left, and none of the ones I wanted, boo. It finished today, but if you're in London and at a loose end I'd definitely recommend it. The only drawback is that it was so busy. This was my favourite print, spooky!

So anyway, I haven't blogged for a while, sorry about that. It's been a chaotic few weeks of editing, trying to get Furnace: Death Sentence – the third book in the series – finished. Now I absolutely love writing, the flow of it, the way you feel pulled along by the words, like you're on a raft bombing down a category five whitewater stretch, with periods of calm in between the rapids then moments of sheer explosive drama as you catapult off the waterfalls. I love being on that ride with the characters, feeling out of control, not knowing what's about to happen or who will survive. I LOVE it! But I hate editing. For me it totally ruins the flow, ruins that adventure. Instead of speeding along the river at full pelt feeling the spray in your face and the adrenaline in your veins you are plodding along a pathway occasionally splashing in a puddle or picking dog poo from your shoe. Okay, that's a crap analogy, sorry, but you get the idea. It's just a slow, lumbering, unrewarding process and I HATE it! But at least it's done now, Furnace 3 is wrapped up and ready to go to print, which is soooooo exciting!!!!

And speaking of exciting, Furnace Solitary is now back from the printers!!!! Which is awesome!!!! Seeing it next to Furnace Lockdown on the shelf is amazing, they complement each other so well. I can't wait to see all five in a row! I only have a few copies at the moment, but there are enough to send out to a couple of people and I'll be sure to do so. I imagine another box will be arriving very soon, so the rest of you won't have to wait for long!

Because of the editing I haven't been doing a huge number of school visits, but I did have the pleasure of visiting Monk's Walk School in Welwyn Garden City last week. I had a brilliant time, thanks to all the brilliant Year Nines and especially the enthusiastic Year Sevens who made the visit so much fun (and yes, Abel, I do remember how to spell your name...). I hung around for some lunch afterwards with Adam, the librarian, who is doing some really innovative and brilliant things in the library to encourage the kids to read. And a thoroughly lovely chap as well! Thanks for the invite, it was a fantastic day!

In other news, my good friend Tim has just had his first book published, which is actually a book about getting published. It's called 'We Can't All Be Astronauts', and has the hilarious subtitle 'Your friends are successes. You're a failure. One last chance to reach for the stars...' It's one of the funniest books I've ever read, and also very poignant too, and very frank about the Publishing Dream in a way that I think all authors should understand. But mainly just laugh-out-loud funny – I was getting some very strange looks on the train yesterday as frequent snotty chortles burst out of my nose. It's also pretty cool that I'm mentioned in the book, albeit as one of Tim's 'talanted, spawny, b*****d friends!' This makes more sense when you know that the jist of the book is Tim's lifelong quest to be an Author, and the fact that quite a few people in our friendship group got there first, including me, as Tim writes: 'Gordon, whose first novel came runner-up in a national televised competition, then got bought for an advance five times the size of the winner's – a book that he wrote in a week.' I really can't praise this book enough, and it is worth reading by all writers, published or unpublished.

Another bit of fantastic news lately is that I am now a godfather! Me, a godfather, who'd have thought it?! My great friends Luke and Sally have just had their first baby, a very healthy boy called Aidan John Wright. I'm so thrilled for them, and I can't wait to meet my godson and start teaching him bad habits! Thanks guys for the honour of making me godfather, I'm stoked!

What else... I guess most of my free time of late has been spent hanging out with the gang and doing fun stuff during half term. My cousin Allie was down for the week as well, which is always brilliant as he's a total star. He's a musician, and his latest tracks are just stunning. I'll see if I can get permission to post one here. We went to see Coraline 3D, which is superb, if TERRIFYING. We went to see Night at the Museum 2 as well, which was disappointing. I loved the original, but this just felt remarkably flat and unoriginal. I hated Frank Azaria's cheap jokes most of all, I think, and the whole script and performance just felt lazy. Having said that, Lucy loved it, so that was cool. We also went to the beach, which was gorgeous in the sun, although I think in retrospect it was maybe a little too cold for swimming in the sea...

I'm bound to have forgotten something that I meant to blog about, but never mind. I'll try and stay more regular in the future, I bought some fig rolls yesterday so they should help... With the editing now over I'm going to try and get back into the swing of writing, as it's been a good long while since I did any. The trouble at the moment (not that it's any trouble at all, actually, it's wonderful) is that I've just got too many ideas and I want to write them all, so I start something, then start something else, then something else, and nothing gets finished! But I'm going to pick something this week and stick to it!

See ya soon!

Guest Blog Number One

2009-06-06T04:20:00.000-07:00

I recently guest blogged over at the brilliant Trapped By Monsters, thanks to an invitation by tremendous author Sam Enthoven. Here's my post for those of you who missed it!

For your further edification I present the following tale of woe. Prepare yourself, gentle reader, for the grisly saga of Alexander Gordon Smith (author of the awesome FURNACE: LOCKDOWN, reviewed here) and his valiant, imaginative yet sadly doomed attempts to rescue us all from captivity.

His last words as he disappeared head-first into the bucket of monster solids were “It reads better if you imagine The Two Ronnies singing it.” Let us hope these cryptic words don’t prove to be this terrific author’s epitaph.

NOW READ ON…

ESCAPE!
by Alexander Gordon Smith

-

Eight intrepid authors met up one winter night,
To write a book of horror lore and give the kids a fright.
It was meant to be a tome of monster pain and slaughter,
A terrifying nightmare for our nation’s sons and daughters.
(Yet soon it would be these poor souls who found out about torture!)

-

Trapped by monsters in a cave, so far beneath the ground,
That even when they screamed for help we could not hear a sound.
Forced to do their captors’ bidding in their cells of slime,
Made to write – dear god forbid – poetry that rhymes!
(And doomed to serve their beastly masters till the end of time…)

-

They’re only let out now and then to spread the monsters’ word:
“We monsters truly aren’t that bad” – it’s really quite absurd!
On such a day, in London Town, I met Sam Enthoven,
And nervously he challenged me to come up with a plan.
(“Get us out, for heavens sake – just save us if you can!”)

-

Now I really am no hero, I’m the opposite of brave.
“There is no blooming way,” I said, “I’m going near that cave!”
But then I watched as poor old Sam was dragged into the drains,
By a brutish beast with forty toes that loved inflicting pain.
(And then I vowed: “Sam don’t you fear, you’ll see the sun again!”)

-

My first plan of action was to blow up all the doors,
So I packed my bag with detonators, fuses and C4.
I’d blast their prison open, my brilliant plan was flawless!
Until I went and realised that the bloomin’ cave was doorless…
(The cells are locked up tight with goo, it’s really quite a raw mess.)

-

Plan B: trick the monsters, it couldn’t fail to work!
“Sam,” I said, “just dress up like an ogre gone berserk.”
Sam spread himself with bogeys, an incredible disguise,
He was so convincing that the monsters let him by!
(Until Gwyneth took a fancy and made herself his bride!)

-

Next I thought I’d bake a cake and smuggle in a file,
Those eight pour souls could saw right through their windows with a smile!
But I passed the cake to Gurt Theeg, that wretched bad luck goblin,
And the goblin gobbled it down his throat, even with the file in!
(And judging by his groans of pain it’s filing his intestines…)

-

“Ali, why don’t you charm them with some of your poetry?
Sing them a nice lullaby and make them go to sleep.”
She composed a masterpiece and sung it to her guard,
But when he fell asleep she didn’t manage to get far.
(The beast had fallen on her and squished her with his a*$e!)

-

I started watching prison shows to get some fresh ideas,
And thought of drugging monsters with some chloroform tortillas.
It would have knocked them out for hours on that cold cave flooring,
But Joe scoffed all the poisoned snacks, it really was appalling.
(He’s been asleep for three weeks now and hasn’t once stopped snoring!)

-

“Why don’t you try and sneak out through the prison laund-er-y?
Jump into the trolley and then soon you’ll be home free!”
Andy followed my advice, he thought he had a chance,
But ended up beneath a pair of slimy monster pants.
(He needed to be rescued by a digger and some clamps!)

-

I told Mark and David: “You can get out through the sewer!”
Not knowing that inside it was a world-class monster poo-er.
As soon as they dropped through their loo they found it overflowing.
Are they still alive down there? There is no way of knowing!
(Except for the occasional sound of something human groaning…)

-

“Tommy, try to start a fire and set off the alarms.
You’ll be evacuated before you all come to harm.”
But the instant that he lit a match and held it to some dry rot,
A monster aimed his snozzle in, extinguishing it with snot!
(And now poor Tommy’s covered, there really was a lot.)

-

“I know what to do,” I cried. “Tunnel through the walls!”
But when Barry tried to do so he found there was no wall at all –
His cell was a vast stomach, a gooey gloop of guts,
Belonging to a monster who had tried to eat him up.
(“Argh, the only way I can escape is crawling out its butt!”)

-

Yuk!

-

Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear, I thought, this isn’t going well,
All I’ve done is make those writers sleep or sink or smell.
If I’m going to break them out I’ll have to risk my health,
Sneak into the prison, take those monsters on myself.
(And hope that I’m rewarded with a great degree of wealth.)

-

So that very afternoon I ventured to their lair,
With every single trembling step I’d offer up a prayer.
With stakes and silver bullets, and holy water too,
I stepped into that cave to do just what I had to do…
(Although quite how to do it? I didn’t have a clue!)

-

The moment that I entered, I came under attack,
I knew I was in trouble but there was no turning back!
My weapons were all useless, the beasties were too tough,
My holy water scared them but it just wasn’t enough.
(Though it did manage to make them smell a little less like guff!)

-

Then just when things seemed futile, when I thought that I was dead,
I threw down all my weapons and tried something else instead.
Monsters do love poems, perhaps they’d like this one?
And whilst I read it out to them my dear old friends could run!
(And somehow we would ambush them as soon as I was done.)

-

So I began to read aloud, the monsters crowded round,
The writers slipped out of their cells, they didn’t make a sound!
As soon as I had finished I said, “Now it’s time to fight!
Come on writers, finish this… Let’s give these beasts a fright!
(Er… Hello? Is anybody there? Please don’t leave me behind!”)

-

Guys?!

-

Guys!!!!!!!

-

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!

Radio Head

2009-05-14T02:32:00.001-07:00

Last night I went to the launch of Radio Head: Up and Down the Dials of British Radio by my good friend John Osborne. It was a really great evening, with John reading from the book and also performing a hilarious poem about Pat Sharpe in his wonderful, inimitable style. It's a brilliant read, and well worth buying, especially if you are in to radio, but even if you're not! Here's the blurb:

John Osborne has long been a fan of radio - from late night sessions of John Peel to Test Match Special at dawn, he has always enjoyed tuning in to the riches of our best broadcasts. When his dull temporary job became drearier than ever, John decided to remain attached to his headphones all day to listen to some of Britain's more unknown stations as well as revisiting the mainstream to fully experience the breadth of our radio output. The result is a funny, disarming ride through aspects of Britain that are uplifting, informative and sometimes plain bizarre. Throughout his month of intensive radio listening, John flits through talk radio, sports shows, dips into the mainstream and the minority, exalts in specialist music shows, comedy and local radio before expanding his mind with an experimental arts channel. It seems there is something for everyone at the turn of a dial, whether that is the ranting of the permanently enraged, the gentle tinkle of a string quartet, West Indian stomp or the sound of frozen peas being thrown around Elephant and Castle underground station.John also gets under the skin of the radio business by interviewing presenters such as Mark Radcliffe and Nicholas Parsons as well as industry insiders. John's daily life is directly affected by his radio habit as he finds himself organising a poker night during exposure to The Jazz, and Zane Lowe's energy on Radio One goads him into cooking his stir fry at the same speed as Morecambe and Wise prepared their breakfast. Finally, John decides to turn his life around and radio becomes his saviour.

It never ceases to amaze me just how successful my friends are, and how many of the guys I went to university with have already got book deals. John is already working on his second, for Simon and Schuster; Tim Clare is about to have his first book published by Ebury, We Can't All be Astronauts; Joe Dunthorne reached the giddy heights of literary fame with his first novel Submarine; and that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Anyway, enough gushing. Well done, John, I hope the book is a huge success!

The Stagnant Cast!

2009-05-11T07:35:00.001-07:00

While I've been busy strutting my stuff on the dance floor at weddings, Kate and Simon have been photographing the cast of Stagnant. Although we've decided we're only going to film the trailer this year, and use that to pull in funding for a feature in 2010, it's great to see the cast all lined up! From left to right, Marc Kerr as Manny, Jack Cramer as Alex, Dan 'Spike' Price as Heff, Carina Birrell as Ellie, Matt Milne as Tom, James Ball as Steve, Jamie Biddle as Nick.

So cool!

Wedding No. 2!

2009-05-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty grotty week as I've been bedridden with flu. I thought it was Swine Flu at first, then I realised that it was something even worse: Man Flu! The most horrible kind of flu ever to be diagnosed. So it's been a week of lying in bed blowing my nose at least five hundred times (where does all that snot come from?! Surely it's impossible to generate that much fluid in your nose!!!) and overdosing on Lemsips. Normally I quite like being ill because it gives you an excuse to lie there and not do anything (it's usually the only excuse I'll ever give myself to stop working). And I certainly did have a lazy week, most of which was spent either playing Professor Layton on the DS (which is AMAZING), or Civilisation 4 on the laptop (which is simply the best game ever for people like me who dream of one day being Emperor of the World). But I've got so much work to do, and now I'm really regretting taking so much time off!!!

It wasn't a total loss, though, as I did manage to get the copy edit of Furnace 3 finished and sent off. Luckily there wasn't too much to change, just a nip and a tuck here and there. Trevor, the excellent copy editor, also thought the ending should change a little, which at first I resisted, then realised it would be so much better the way he suggested it. That's the one thing I love about the editing process, the fact that for the first time somebody who isn't you gives the book a good once over and spots things with fresh eyes. You don't have to change everything they suggest, but at least hearing what they have to say makes you think 'actually, this isn't as great as I thought it was, and maybe...' and it bumps you out of the rut that you often fall into when you've finished writing. Especially when you're stubborn like me and think that once a book is written nothing can or should be changed! Uncle Frank also read through it and produced his usual invaluable list of suggestions, thanks Frank!

Anyway, I was starting to feel a little less snotty on Friday, which is just as well as my friend Joel was getting married on Saturday. I thought I'd probably better try on my suit, knowing that I've, er, maybe put on a pound or two since I last wore it. My worst fears were realised when I tried to pull on my trousers and they wouldn't get over my butt. Argh! Luckily I'd left the jacket in a pile upstairs and it was creased and absolutely covered in orange sawdust, so I had another excuse to go out and buy a new one. I opted for pinstripe this time because I'd never had a pinstripe suit before and it looked like something a gangster would wear. I got a black shirt, red tie, and, to make myself look even more like a gangster, a belt buckle shaped like a bloody cleaver. Cool!

It was a great wedding, even though we totally did a 'Four Weddings' and got there late. It wasn't my fault, Sally had forgotten a prop that Luke needed for his Best Man speech, and we had to nip back and get it. What followed was a series of 'Wildest Police Chases' style car maneuvers as we tried to bomb out of Norwich to the Sprowston Manor Hotel. Luckily we were only one minute late, and everybody was standing up as we entered so only a few people noticed. I'm glad we didn't arrive just a few seconds earlier, as then we'd have walked in with the bride, which would have been awful! It was another great bash, though, with all the old uni crowd present. I don't see many of them very regularly, so it's always fun catching up. And it's so good seeing Joel and Fran get married, as they really are a darling couple. Congratulations!!!

I just wish I'd been able to wear my kilt again!

Anyway, I've got so so so much to catch up on, not least writing a new book, so I'd better get on!

And the diet definitely starts today!!! I ate a whole large bar of fruit and nut yesterday, in about half an hour, and had a MacDonalds for tea (with an extra burger). I'm going to eat myself into an early grave at this rate!

Wedding Season is Here!!!

2009-05-03T05:21:00.000-07:00

It's definitely that time of year again, lots and lots of weddings. Now I have to confess I'm not a huge fan of them, I mean it's great seeing two people in love, and wonderful that everybody can have a day of partying and celebrating, but I'm just not good with crowds and end up going a bit loopy after a few hours. Having said that, I do love a good shindig, and a wedding is certainly that!

The first wedding of the year was yesterday, my Uncle Brian's, and it took place in Scotland, which is where most of my family still live. And the best thing about a Scottish wedding is... the KILT! I absolutely love wearing a kilt, I would do it every single day if I thought I could get away with it. They are just so comfortable, and smart, and Scottish, and, well, kilty! Here I am in mine:

Oh yeah!!!!

It was great being back in Kirkcaldy. I haven't been there for a few years, ever since my grandparents died, and it was so wonderful to see everybody again under better circumstances. I always forget how BIG my family is: my dad is one of ten brothers and sisters, which means I also have about thirty cousins, and some more second cousins. It's a huge clan, we totally overflowed the groom's side of the room during the service and had to squat in the bride's! But they are all fantastic and great fun to be around. I'm definitely going to try and get up to see them more often, hopefully when I'm up for the Edinburgh festival this year. Anyway, it was a lovely wedding, with a great band and lots of dancing. And well worth the 16-hour round trip train journey! It was also great to hang out with Dad, who I see about as seldom as my relatives in Scotland!

Oh, and I just have to express my relief that nobody made me dance the Gay Gordon!

Fun at the Palace

2009-04-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

No, not Buckingham Palace, Crystal Palace! Today I was down in South London at Alex Milway's wonderful Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival, which he has set up from scratch for the first time this year. Now, setting up a whole festival is no mean feat, it takes a huge amount of work and passion and creativity, and is, from what I've heard, pretty much a full-time job. But Alex is perfect for that job, as he does have oodles and oodles of enthusiasm and creativity. He decided to set up a festival, and he just went ahead and did it! And what a fantastic job he made of it too.

There were a series of workshops throughout the day, of which mine was one. I headed down on the train (well, trains, as there were bloody ENGINEERING WORKS so one train became about three hundred, but then that was the only bad part of the day so I can't really complain) and went straight to Upper Norwood Library, run by the lovely Fiona. I was about five minutes late, so when I arrived I saw that my workshopees were already waiting – mostly kids, but also a couple of adults who thought it was an adult workshop (one of which, I realised later, was Cristy Burne, winner of the Frances Lincoln Diverse Voices Award for her new novel Takeshita Demons, which looks amazing)! They were all great, and we cracked into some exercises straight away, including how to build the foundation of a horror story by looking at your worst fears. An hour later and there were some terrifying plots for horror stories doing the rounds, and I hope that everyone who was there goes off and writes a scary story! Many thanks to everybody who came, it was great meeting you all!

Afterwards I went for a delicious (but very hot) Thai lunch with Alex and some other festival folk and we chatted about books and writing and films and all sorts of other things, which is always lovely but especially so once you've finished a workshop and can relax. Thanks to Bookpirate for footing the bill! After that we waddled contentedly up to The Bookseller Crow for an afternoon of readings. It was a fantastic lineup, with Alex reading from his new Mousehunter book, then the marvelous Sam Enthoven reading from TIM Defender of the Earth, then me, then Sarwat Chadda with his first ever reading from his new horror Devil's Kiss. It was the first time I'd met Sam and Sarwat, and they were both brilliant. I'm really looking forward to reading their books. Incidentally, I discovered that Sarwat's mother-in-law lives about one minute from my house in Norwich, how weird is that?! After some signings from the DFC illustrators we headed over to Smash Bang Wallop, a lovely gallery, and enjoyed some well-earned drinks. I met tonnes of other talented people there, including Sue Eves, although I didn't get to meet her wonderful dog.

So all in all a perfect day, and Alex should be immensely proud of himself for pulling it all together so expertly. Hopefully there will be another one next year!

And I just have to say that out of all the places I've ever been in London, Crystal Palace is by far the nicest. Where else can you be walking down the street, turn your head to the side and be blown away by a view like this (which, if you can't make it out, is the WHOLE of London):

Happy Birthday Lucy!!!

2009-04-23T02:21:00.000-07:00

Yay, 10!!!!

We had a day of shopping yesterday to celebrate, and I treated Lucy to a DSi, which are actually pretty cool. The cameras, and photo editing software, are the best thing about them, so much fun! After shopping we met Lyns and had dinner in Pizza Express, which was yummy. I really should do something about my expanding waistline though...

Anyway, have a great birthday week, Lucy!

Happy Birthday Mike!

2009-04-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

He turns 50 today!!! I do quite like having a friend who's old enough to be my dad, it makes me feel better whenever I start worrying about the fact I'm 30... I popped out to join him for a drink at the Adam and Eve, which is the oldest pub in Norwich. I brought my Uncle Frank with me too, which was great as he lives in Aberdeen and we hardly ever see each other, or even speak to each other, let alone go out for a drink with each other. It was great being able to have a good chat with him about writing and life, especially as he's one of the main reasons I wanted to be an author. He once wrote a series of stories about a dragon called Whispy, who couldn't blow fire, and I'll never forget reading them as a kid and realising that these stories hadn't just magically appeared in books, they had been written by somebody I know, and if my uncle could write stories, then I could too! Not to mention they were brilliant. Go on, Frank, write some more!

A Break Between Edits...

2009-04-21T02:54:00.001-07:00

I've just sent off the final proof edit for Furnace: Solitary, which feels great. It is a terrifying, spine-chilling, bowel-loosening feeling, though, sending a book off for the final time. I mean even in this final read-through I found some more typos. Frank, my uncle and a great proof-reader (and writer), found one where I'd written 'nose' instead of 'noise'. How do these things slip through?! There are bound to be some typos in the finished book, but I guess that's just life. And it happens to everyone. I recently read on the wonderful and mega-famous Darren Shan's blog that his latest Demonata book had a whopping great big typo on the last page where the publisher had run some text on from the last line. Which is awful!

Anyway, Furnace 2 is now done and dusted, and it's now straight on to the copy edit for Furnace 3. Copy edits are less stressful than proof edits, I find, as you know you'll have a couple more chances to change anything further down the line. However, they are a lot more work because they often involve some big and complicated structural edits, and sometimes rewrites of entire sections of the book. But I've only got until Friday to get this back to Trevor, the fantastic copy-editor, so I'm hoping it won't be too bad...

Before I crack on with that, though, here's a quick rundown of the highlights from the last few days:

Thursday: Lynsey, Lucy and I went to Yarmouth for a quick visit to the Sea Life Centre, which was fab. There are loads of great fish and other sea creatures there, some of which you can touch. I even prodded a starfish, although was told afterwards that I'd actually poked it in the bum (which is right in the middle of its back). Nice! The highlight of the place was the octopus, which was only small but which was truly mesmerising to watch. They are so graceful, and so alien, and so beautiful. And they're as clever as dogs, cleverer actually as they can unscrew jars if they want whatever's inside, and I've never seen a dog unscrew a jar! After that we walked along the seafront playing on the arcades and eating fish and chips and doughnuts. Great fun! The only disappointment about the day was that Jamie didn't want to come. He wanted to go into town with his friends and buy World of Warcraft. Oh where has my lovely little brother gone?!

I popped into town afterwards to meet up with some friends, Luke, John and Nathan. But by 10 we were all knackered, and Luke, bless him, had actually fallen asleep in the bar. It's terrible getting old.

Friday: Lucy was at a sleepover so Lynsey and I went to see Let the Right One In, which is an amazing Swedish vampire film. I won't say too much about it, other than that it is remarkably atmospheric, and terrifying. The two main actors, both children, are fantastic, and the film instantly catapulted its way into my top five vampire films of all time. Go see it! I'm going to buy the book as well, as apparently it's also really, really good.

Saturday: My good friend Joel is getting married in a couple of weeks, and to celebrate his Stagness we decided to do something outdoorsy and adventurous. Luke booked fourteen of us at Go Ape, which is a massive assault course set 35 feet above the ground in Thetford Forest. I've been before, and remembered very little about it except for being covered in cold sweat and shaking like a leaf by the time I'd finished. It seemed a little better this time round, but it's still bloody hard work. It's all climbing rope ladders, crossing tiny bridges, swinging over the ground on Tarzan swings, struggling up rope nets and speeding down ziplines, which was all terrifying but great, great fun. By the time I'd finished I was definitely at least 3% more of a man than when I'd started. After that it was curry then beer, although I managed to get away with only having four pints and a cup of tea, and as a result lost the 3% gain in manliness that I had accrued earlier than day. Never mind.

Sunday: I was on the radio, see below!

Monday: Kung Fu again, and we're all really getting into it now. We've finished learning the first form, and plenty more to boot. So much fun! And Jamie seemed much more himself today as well, rather than the sulky teenager we've got used to. It was fun watching Lucy and Jamie playing around crazily like they always used to!

So that's about it for the last few days. I'd better get on with the edit now, wish me luck!

The Future of Gordy

2009-04-20T05:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the lack of posts, it's been a crazy week of editing – just finished the final, last-minute, heart-attack-inducing proof edit of Furnace 2 and about to begin the copy edit of Furnace 3 – but I did have time to go on Future Radio yesterday to chat with the lovely Simone about films, horror and lots more. Podcast here!

Ha ha!

2009-04-14T01:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Jen for making a little Gordy boat montage:

Trapped By Monsters

2009-04-13T03:29:00.000-07:00

The wonderful site Trapped By Monsters is running a poetry challenge which is well worth entering if anyone enjoys silly verse! The rules are the poem can be no more than eight lines long, must include the word Bobbly, and must answer the question: Is there any chance it snapped off by mistake? Here's my rather dismal effort!

The Short Saga of Slobbery McHorribly
There once lived a beastie called Slobbery McHorribly,
Whose slippery snout was all nobbly and bobbly.
He would wheeze through the forest sniffing everyone smelly,
Leaving them covered in bogeys and nose jelly.
Well one day the monsters grew tired of his schnozz,
And snuck into his snotnest to cut the thing off.
When dawn came the monsters said to old Slobbery:
‘Must have snapped off by mistake, but at least you can breath properly!”

Hmmmmm...

I almost lost my lunch...

2009-04-13T02:25:00.000-07:00

After a stressful morning of film stuff yesterday (who would have thought that making a feature-length movie with no money and no experience would be so difficult?!?!?) I was in desperate need of some fun. Luckily for me the Easter Fair was on in Chapelfield Gardens! I went and met Lucy and Lynsey, and their friend from Manchester, Nicky, at the Red Lion and wolfed down a gorgeous Sunday Lunch, then we swung by and picked up Jamie and headed into town for some seasonal fun.

I very quickly began to regret having eaten so much for lunch...

It wasn't so bad to start with. Jamie and I had a go on all the gun games (as boys are wont to do), and won Lucy a fair few cuddly toys to add to the ones that the girls had won on various other games. We got a bit obsessed with the hoop games too, and came painfully close to victory so many times. I've been a bit nervous of carnies (are we allowed to call them that?) ever since we had a carnival at university, and my friend Luke was bold enough to ask whether the hoops actually fit over the things they were supposed to fit over. The only response he got was in the form of the stall owner vaulting over the counter and chasing him across a field. Which kind of answers the question, really. But the lady at the Easter Fair did show us that a win was achievable, and indeed we managed to add to the little posse of cuddly bears and elephants and other creatures that Lynsey was lugging around in her bag.

After that it was the Dodgems, which I absolutely adore. I think we went on five times in the end, and we all must have had severe whiplash by the time we staggered off. I've got a huge bruise on my knee where Lynsey and Nicky rammed me!

After that I was feeling a tad green, but Jamie was adamant that I joined him on some horrific spinny contraption that looked more like a torture device from the Inquisition than something you'd do for fun. I held out as long as I could but then gave in. Now, I used to go on these rides all the time when I was a kid, sometimes twenty times in a row, and come off feeling as fresh as a daisy. But I'm OLD now! I swear, when that thing started I honestly thought I was going to have a stroke. You know that feeling when you're at the train station and a high-speed one shoots past and you try and follow it and you feel like somebody has pulled your stomach out of your bottom? Well that's what it felt like, but it wouldn't stop! After a minute or so I got used to it, then for the next couple of minutes it was actually okay, then I started to feel like I was going to chunder, and was eyeing Jamie's new jacket as a way of getting revenge for making me ride the ride. But fortunately it stopped soon after and I managed to sway back onto solid ground. I was so ill that I only just managed to eat a hot dog and some candy floss, which for me, at a fair, isn't very much at all!

After that the girls went off to watch 17 Again, which I thought was probably even more likely to make me hurl than the fairground ride, so Jamie and I went home. A great day though!

Aye aye, Cap'n!

2009-04-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

Today I'm recovering after a day on the boat. Not my boat, obviously, but a day hire boat. Kate, Simon and I hired one out for a location scout on the Broads. The weather forecast promised rain, but it was glorious sunshine all day (apart from the ten minutes where we were mooring the boat when it rained so much and so hard I thought we were going to sink), so much so that I'm currently burned to a crisp! It was absolutely beautiful out there on the rivers and broads, I can't believe I haven't done it since I was a kid, especially considering it's less than half an hour up the road and cheap as chips.

We took our little picnic boat out at Wroxham and chugged along the waterways through Horning and up to Ranworth. Here we met Jen (the director), Tania (the DoP) and Nathan (who had nothing better to do), grabbed some lunch in a nearby pub, then set sail (well, set engine) and travelled a bit further downstream. There are some magnificent locations – including an old 14th Century Abbey which is supposed to be haunted by a monk who was skinned alive and nailed to the door, nice! – and we're definitely hoping to use some for the film. The week on the boat is the one I'm most excited about, as hopefully it will feel like one big holiday!

The best thing about the trip, though, was the birds. There were so many of them – grebes, coots and we even saw about ten herons – and it was so wonderful to see them. Yes, I know, I'm starting to sound like my dad... The coots were my favourite. When you throw bread for them they stretch their wings and run along the water to catch it, it's such a funny thing to watch:

It's funnier when they're not in slow motion, but that's the only video I could find! And wouldn't it be so cool to be able to do that!

I'm going to try and get out on a boat a few times this year. My friend Tom, who runs Gatehouse Press, has just bought one, so I'm hoping to go down and take that out for a spin...

Just call me Captain Gordy!

Mind you, it was so knackering, even though you're just standing around doing nothing. Nathan, Jen and I came back to mine afterwards (after bumping into Lynsey and Lucy, coincidentally, and giving them a lift home, it's a small world) and we were going to watch a film, but we were all drifting off at about half nine. We just about had enough energy for a curry though :-)

Easter fair today, yay!

Not again!

2009-04-10T02:03:00.000-07:00

Just got back from seeing Monsters Vs Aliens 3D... Again! Jamie couldn't come with us last time, so I promised I'd take him again. I wanted to go and see Fast and Furious (saaaad, I know) but he was insistent. I checked out how the 3D system worked before going this time, and it's such a clever thing. Jamie loved the film, and I have to say I really enjoyed watching it again, but it's definitely the 3D that makes it. And I gave in to Jamie's demands for a Dominos for tea, even though I know it's going to lodge itself in my guts for a week and stop me from sleeping... Nice!

It was cool to spend some time with Jamie though, what with his skateboarding I hardly see him these days!

Zoo For Gordy!!!!

2009-04-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

Yay, we made it today! I managed to talk Lynsey and Lucy into it, and Lucy brought her friend Lauren, and together with two teddy bears we all drove over to Banham Zoo for the afternoon. It was so much fun! There is a great selection of animals there, from exotic ones like tigers and giraffes to more mundane things like, well, sheep. Actually it was one of those mundane ones that really stole our hearts, the cutest little goat kid in the world!!!

I really loved seeing the giraffes – so tall – but the real highlight of the day was watching the cheetahs and tigers getting fed. I know they're safely behind bars, but there's still something absolutely amazing (and terrifying) about being a metre or so away from a big cat. When they look you in the eye you still feel that instinctive fear, that knowledge that you wouldn't last two seconds in the wild if you were nose to nose. And yet at the same time they're so cute! We fed the sheep and goats ourselves, although the way the goats were going for my fingers I thought they were turning into carnivores too!

It's incredible seeing just a fraction of the huge variety of wildlife out there, from spoonbills and marmots to spider monkeys and wolves. And don't forget the meerkats, and the seals! I do have mixed feelings about zoos, especially when you see some of the smaller compounds (and especially especially when you see the birds without room to fly properly), but I guess you've got to remember that so many of these species are on the verge of extinction, and zoos with their research and breeding programmes are a great way to ensure that doesn't happen. And it really does make you appreciate your place in the magnificent mix of nature.

No monkeys throwing poo though :-(

I think I might adopt something. Any suggestions? It would have to be one of the unpopular animals that nobody else adopts. Like a camel. Or a pig.

Anyway, debating whether to go out and see Knowing, don't know if I can be bothered to see Nicholas Cage overacting. Again.

Oh, and I wasn't sure what these were, but they were very cute.

No zoo for Gordy :-(

2009-04-09T02:10:00.001-07:00

I thought since it was such a nice day yesterday we should all do something fun, and I suggested going to the zoo. I haven't been to the zoo for years, and I do love looking at all the animals. But could I convince anybody to go? No! Jamie, now 13 bless him, only wants to skateboard, and despite being covered in bruises and having a huge gash on his face from a recent faceplant he still insists on foregoing everything in favour of whizzing around on a plank of wood attached to some tiny wheels. I don't personally see the attraction, I mean maybe if it had a V8 engine attached to it... I asked Lynsey and Lucy, but they inexplicably chose to stay at home and watch the Chuckle Brothers. Thanks a lot, Barry and Paul.

So instead I decided to catch up on some mail, and managed to post off a load of parcels to people which I'd been meaning to do for ages. And I also finally got the nail pulled out of my car tyre. It was actually a huge screw in the end, god only knows how it got in there. Which was all very fun, but hardly as good as watching monkeys throw poo at each other.

The day was saved in the end when Jen rang and asked if I fancied a McDonalds with her and Nathan, which I didn't, really, but I thought I should force one down in an attempt to be social. It was delicious, although I got a Crunchie McFlurry not realising that they had Cream Egg ones, cheated! After that we got some beers and spent the next five hours running people over in Grand Theft Auto. I don't know what it is about that game but it turns people into monsters! So much fun, though...

Anyway, I'm about to try my zoo plan again today, even though it's raining.

Reliving the Past

2009-04-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I've just pasted all my old blog posts on the new blog, which was nice as I got to read back over them all – something I'd never normally do. It really has been an exciting couple of years. Unfortunately some of my old posts seem to have been lost in the cyberether, which means I have to rely on my highly unreliable memory to recall them! Never mind.